How to Love a Stranger
by skye3
Summary: UPDATED! CHAPTER 7 UP! AU MerDer. After 3 and a half years missing and presumed dead, Derek Shepherd made a reappearance just when his wife, Meredith had become engaged with his best friend Michael. Complete summary inside. Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **After three and a half years missing in the South American jungle, presumed dead, Derek Shepherd had made a dramatic re-appearance, just as his wife Meredith had become engaged to his best friend Michael. So now Meredith had to get used to being married to Derek all over again. Could she manage it? How could she come to terms with this man who was now a primitive stranger?

**Notes: I know, the title sucks. But I can't think of anything else! If you have any suggestions, please do tell. **

**I got the idea for this story from an old pocket book, "Strange Bedfellow." Large part of this is from the novel, but I've made a few changes with the character names and other stuff. **

**Hope you'll like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy and "Strange Bedfellow."**

Meredith stood in the vast library, shutting her ears to the celebrating voices in other parts of the house. She couldn't seem to think her way out of confusion. A tangle of cobwebs in her mind, she stood there, her green eyes staring out the window. Her dirty blond hair shimmered in the dim light. The house was comfortably heated, but still she felt a chill as a shudder passed through her. Maybe it was because of the weight of the precious metal on her finger.

Her solitude was broken when the door to the library opened. Meredith turned to see Michael Stanton closing the door behind him. A gentle smile on his face in spite of the puzzled gleam in his eyes, which made her feel a slight pang of guilt that she had hidden in the library.

"So this is where you've snuck out to," he said as he approached her.

"Yes," Meredith nodded, unaware of the sigh in her voice or how forced her smile looked.

He came closer and his hands settled lightly on her shoulders, his gray eyes looking into hers. Michael had fair skin, his blond hair lazily falling across his forehead. They had been good friends for a long time now. It was with Derek that Meredith met Michael. Michael was Derek's best friend. But Meredith quickly pushed those thoughts aside. Slim and athletic, Michael was much taller than her, even with her heels.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his gaze probing.

"Nothing…..I was just thinking."

"That's not allowed. You think too much." His hands slid around her and Meredith allowed him to embrace her, stifling at first then forcing herself to relax. His chest had become a familiar resting place for her head, used often in the last three and a half years. She closed her eyes as he kissed her temple.

"You should be out there celebrating," he told her is a mock scolding voice.

"I know," she sighed, turning away from him to stare back out the window. Mark rested his hands on either side of her neck, gently massaging the tensed muscles there as he spoke. "Relax, Meredith. You're going to freak out soon if you don't."

"I can't help it," she frowned, "I just….I don't know if I'm doing the right thing."

"Of course you are." Michael moved backwards, turning her to face him, his face gentle and understanding. "Look, I know understand your hesitation about this. I was Derek's best friend, so I know what kind of man your husband was. And I'm not here to take his place. I even don't want you to take his ring from your finger. But I'm hoping that with a little more time and patience, I could find some room in your heart to care for me."

"I do care about you, Michael," Meredith stated. "You have been there all this time. I don't know how I could have survived all those months when Derek was missing, and then when we were finally notified that he's — "

Her words were silenced by his firm kiss. Then he gathered her in his arms, holding her close. His voice a comforting whisper when he spoke. "That's in the past. You should forget it. "

"I can't." She shook her head. "I keep remembering the fight I had with Derek before he left for that South African trip." She let out a sigh laced with anger and regret. "We always fought about such petty things, things that seem so stupid now."

"You have to stop living in the past, Meredith."

"I know." She gave a small smile.

Then his mouth was seeking hers again in a warm and passionate kiss. She responded in kind. Michael never demanded more from her that she was willing to give. And this only endeared him more to her.

"I wish we hadn't told them of the engagement," she sighed into his chest when they broke apart. "You know, keep it to ourselves for a while."

It's not that she didn't love Michael, she did. Just not the same crazy way she loved Derek. With Michael, she felt relaxed and unguarded. She felt safe and comfortable when he's around.

"Meredith," he laughed, "We can't keep our engagement from our family and friends. You know how they've got that sixth sense. And besides, they need time to adjust to the idea that you soon won't be Mrs. Derek Shepherd."

"I guess you're right." She offered a slight smile.

"So, c'mon, why don't we try celebrating out there?" He offered, gently urging her towards the door.

"Ok," she sighed, letting him guide her out of the room.

But before they could reach the door, it opened. And were met by Caroline Shepherd, Derek's mother.

Meredith and Caroline were living in the same house. During the disappearance of Derek, Caroline had moved to live with Meredith. She leaned unto Meredith for support and comfort, more so when the authorities finally broke the news that they found no survivors from the plane crash.

Meredith did not have the sweetest relationship with her mother-in-law, but they got together fine. Caroline didn't have any objections with the engagement. But she didn't voice an approval either.

"Oh, thank God, I finally found you. The guests have been asking where you both had gone." She stared at them with a tinge of disappointment. Caroline Shepherd was a typical high class woman; she was quite particular at how to handle guests. "Now, hurry. They're setting up for a toast."

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Meredith woke up, feeling the sun on her face. She had been too tired last night after the 'celebration' that she had immediately gotten off to sleep and forgot to close the curtains.

Unable to go back to sleep, she opened of eye to look at the time, 7:30. She grunted as she arose, it was too early to be waking up for a Saturday. She got dressed with a pair of jeans, white blouse and green cotton blazer.

She cautiously made her way down the stairs, careful not to wake the other people in the house. Caroline and Mary, the housekeeper, were still asleep. She tip toed out of the house. Closing the door, she listened for the click of the lock. When she heard it, she turned and made her way down the steps to the drive way where her white Porsche was parked.

She was about to hop in the car but she was startled by the ringing of the telephone inside the house; it was too loud in the silence of the morning. She sprinted back to the door and frantically searched her bag for the keys. But when she finally found them the ringing had already stopped. So she hurried back to the Porsche and drove off.

She drove around the quiet business streets for a while before stopping at a local café for some doughnuts and a cup of coffee. Then she headed towards the beach and watch the sun finish rising in the Rhode Island Sound. She sat there enjoying the peacefulness of the scene.

When it was 9:00, the time she usually showed up in the office, she reached for her bag and rummaged through it for her phone. _Shoot, I left it in the house._ So she got up and drove to the nearest payphone. She dialed the office number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Diane? This is Mrs. Shepherd." Everyone in the office still called her that. "I won't be in today but there are some notes on my desk that I want you to type."

"I've already started it," her young secretary replied.

"Ok, when you're done with it, just leave the print outs on my desk. Then you can call it a day. Alright?"

"Ok. Thank you Mrs. Shepherd." Diane Chandler was obviously pleased.

"See you on Monday." Meredith said before hanging up.

Meredith had taken over the Derek's post in the company. The Shepherds were the owner of the famous Empire Hotel chains. After the disappearance of Derek, the company began to wobble. And most of the capable executive staff resigned, abandoning the sinking ship. So it was by necessity that Meredith took over.

She learned the hard way, by trial and many errors. Michael, having been with the company for as long as Derek has, helped and supported her. Since then Meredith had spent most of her time and energy in the office.

Today was Saturday, and only a minimum of a half day's work was required of her. But she had to take care of an important matter that the family attorney had called her about at the start of the week. She headed back to the sports car and drove to the boat marina, where Derek's sailing boat was docked.

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Stepping out of the car, she smiled at the man who hadn't changed for almost four years. "Good morning, Captain Fisher." She greeted.

"Hey there, Miss Shepherd." He rose from his seat and adjusted his hat. "You here to clean out the Northstar? It was sad to hear when your attorney told me that you had it rented out."

"Yes, I know." Her smiled faded slightly. Getting rid of the boat was like closing the final chapter about Derek in her life. "But it seemed silly to keep it tied up here, unused."

"She's a fine boat," he insisted. "You never know, maybe someday you'd want it for yourself."

"Meredith laughed at that. "You know I'm not mush of a sailor. I need a bottle of motion sickness pills just to make it out of the harbor without getting seasick!"

"Then you sleep the whole time." He joined her laughter, shaking his head. "I'll never forget that time Derek came off the boat with you sound asleep in his arms. He told me afterwards that you didn't wake up till the next morning."

"And that was the last time he even suggested that I go sailing with him." She took the key he handed her, trying to push back the rush of memories that came to her. She had spent a lot of time in these docks, waiting for Derek's return from his sailing trips.

Meredith made her way to the boat. Upon entering, memories of Derek came rushing in. She cleaned out the drawers and storage boxes. She found canned goods that were probably expired by now. Derek always had a peculiar taste in food. She cleaned out the closet. Derek had always been meticulous with his clothes. His out fits were always laid back, but he made sure that they were clean and properly pressed.

Derek had been used to good things in life, a beautiful home, excellent food and vintage wines. He had been something of a playboy when Meredith had met him, with the devastating charm and dreamy smile that women surely fell for. But he was also arrogant and spoiled, brilliantly intelligent and painfully organized, he had been exciting and difficult to live with.

For the most part of the day, she was packing Derek's belongings to the Porsche. After which she went back to clean away the dusts and polishing the interior woodwork. When she was done, she took a last look, as if saying goodbye, and left. Fully exhausted, and looking forward to a warm cozy bath, she drove home.

As she came around to the street where she lived with her mother-in-law, Meredith's brows furrowed as the sight of half a dozen of cars parked in front of their driveway. She recognized the blue Ford as Michael's. She wondered if there was yet another family and friends gathering that Caroline failed to mention to her.

Stepping out of the her sports car, she slung her hand bag over her shoulder and decided that now was not a good time to bring all of the other things into the house. She quietly slipped inside, hoping to get to the shower and change without being noticed. But as she was about to run up the stairs, Michael came out from the double doors of the living room, his handsome features strained and tensed.

"Where have you been?" His low voice was laced with desperation and anxiety. If it wasn't for the celebrating voices in the living room, Meredith would have thought that something bad had happened.

"At the marina," she answered.

"The marina?" he repeated in disbelief. "Jesus, I've been calling your phone and all over to find you. Why haven't I thought of the marina?"

"Sorry, I left my phone upstairs."

"What were you doing there anyway?"

"I was cleaning out the Northstar. It has been leased." She replied.

"Of all the times –"

Meredith broke in sharply. "What's going on?" His attitude was so confusing that she couldn't take it anymore.

"Look, there's something I have to tell you but I don't know how to say it." Michael said, licking his lips nervously.

"What is it?" Meredith asked impatiently. His tension was becoming contagious.

"Meredith," he began, his hand gripping hard on her shoulders. But he was unable to continue as a low, huskily-pitched male voice interrupted.

"Michael seems to think that you're going to go into a state of shock when you find out I'm alive."

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**Dun-dun-dun-dun! **

**So how was it? Should I continue? Please tell me what you think. Review, review, review!**

**Next chapter (if I get enough reviews. Lol.): How will Meredith deal with Derek's return? Especially that he seemed to have changed into a completely different person. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: Finally! I get to update this story and here's the next chapter. This should have been up 3 days ago, but for some reason wouldn't allow it. Special thanks to samsolace for teaching me how to update. You rock! **

**Thank you very much for your reviews. It means a lot. Hope you'll enjoy. **

_"Michael seems to think that you're going to go into a state of shock when you find out I'm alive." _

The floor rocked beneath Meredith. She slowly turned, drawn to the voice. Then her knees went weak at the sight of the owner. If it not had been Michael holding her up, she would have collapsed to the floor.

_Was this some kind of a sick joke? _She thought to herself. She stared at the figure by the living room door. His features resembled Derek, the carved cheek and jaw, the strong chin and slightly crooked nose. The eyes were the same piercing blue ones, but they wore a narrowed and hooded look, as if they were looking into her soul.

Then she noticed the differences. His face was burned by the sun, giving hardness to the features that in Derek had been dreamily handsome. His wavy hair was the same deep shade of brown, but it was mush longer than Derek had ever worn it. He was as the same height as Derek, but his built was more muscled. Not that Derek had been a weakling by any means, it was just his man seemed more developed without appearing heavier.

But the way Michael was acting diminished that thought that this was a cruel joke.

"It's true," Meredith breathed. It was neither a statement nor a question, her hands unconsciously clinging unto Michael's arm for support as she felt the cold weight of his engagement ring on her finger.

"It looks like Michael was right," that familiar, lazy voice drawled dryly. "My return is more of a shock to you than I though it would be," Derek observed. He shifted his gaze to Michael. "I think she needs a glass of water."

"Right," Michael agreed, and curved an arm around her waist. "C'mon, let's go find you a seat." And then to Derek, "Seeing you in the doorway was bound to have been like seeing a ghost. I told you we were all convinced you were dead."

As Meredith sat in the living room, she became aware of the presence of close family and friends, here to celebrate Derek's return. The fleeting silence told her that they had been watching the reunion between husband and wife – or rather, the lack of it. Derek come to sit in front of her.

It was then that Meredith realized that she had not so much as touched Derek, let alone joyously fallen into his arms, like everyone must have expected her to do. Her one swaying attempt had been futile as her legs seemed to have lost its strength. And Michael had been there, holding her to place. It would seem staged and fake if she did so now.

But deep inside her, she already knew that when the time comes, she would have to fake it because although the man in front of her was obviously Derek Shepherd, he did not seem like the same man she had married. He looked at her in an aloof coolness. She felt like she was looking at a total stranger.

Michael approached, automatically seating beside her and handing her a glass of water. When her hand faltered, Michael's hand was immediately there to help her bring the glass to her lips. It was then that Meredith had realized that Michael hadn't told Derek of the engagement. But his actions were telling the story. And Meredith was aware of Derek's eyes. Behind that façade of lazy interest, he was watching every damn detail.

When she finally found the strength, she raised a hesitant gaze to Derek. "How –" she began, "I mean, when – "

"I walked out of the jungle two weeks ago," he anticipated the question and answered it.

"Two weeks ago?" That was before she had agreed to marry Michael. "Why didn't you let...someone know?" Her right hand unconsciously moved to cover her left, hiding Derek's rings and Michael's engagement ring.

"I had a hard time convincing the authorities that I am who I say I am. They too, believed I was dead." He finished with a cynical smile.

"The moment they believe Derek's story," Caroline Shepherd interjected, speaking for the first time, "he took the first plane out to come home." She beamed at him, obviously just happy that her son is alive and back.

"You should have called." Meredith couldn't help saying it. She might have been better prepared for the new Derek Shepherd if she knew beforehand.

"I did." He replied plainly. And Meredith remembered the telephone ringing before she left the house.

"When Derek couldn't get hold of any of you, he called me. And I came here right away to tell you and Mrs. Shepherd." Michael supplied.

"Michael was a stunned as you were, Mer." He said, but everyone didn't seem to notice the lack of amusement in his voice. Meredith's gaze at him wavered. It has been so long since anyone had called her 'Mer,' it was only Derek who did. Everyone just referred to her as Meredith or for most of the time, Mrs. Shepherd.

"So, Derek! How did you survive in the jungle? It seems like a miracle!" Mr. Lane, Derek's godfather suddenly broke out. And with that, Derek began to tell the story about the crash and the events that followed, Meredith listening all the way.

The small chartered plane had developed an engine problem and they crashed in to the jungle. When Derek came to, He found the other four people aboard dead. With a broken leg, a few fractured ribs and a gash on the forehead, he had managed to pull free of his seat belt and got out of the plane. Meredith's gazed found the scar that had made a permanent crease on his forehead.

Sometime after that, Derek, who had always hired someone to do something if it required professional experience and skill, had set his own broken leg and began his journey through the jungle. He had fruits and whatever wild animals he could trap for food. And this was supposed to be Derek Shepherd who had considered hunting as a disgusting sport. Meredith then had realized that Derek left a civilized man and came back part primitive.

"There's something I don't understand," Mr. Lane frowned when Derek had finished telling his story. "Why did the authorities tell us you were dead after they'd found the wreckage? Surely they must have discovered there was a body missing," he added bluntly.

"Did you burry them, Derek?" his mother asked. "Is that why they didn't find any bodies?"

"No mother, I didn't burry them. It would have required a bulldozer to get the bodies out." Derek remarked plainly. "But there were a lot of scavengers in the jungle." He added. Meredith paled at this. He sounded so cold and insensitive!

The talking came to a stop when Mary, the housekeeper appeared to announce that dinner would be ready in an hour. And with that, Meredith excused herself to go freshen up before dinner.

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Meredith got out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around her and made her way to far corner of the room to her closet. When there was a click on the door she turned surprised and saw Derek walk in. Her mouth opened to yell at the intruder, then closed. He was her husband. How could she order him out of her bedroom?

Her hands tightened their hold on her towel as Derek fixed his eyes on her, like a predator would its prey. Her palms moistening in nervousness, Meredith was aware of the implied intimacy of the room and her own nakedness underneath the towel.

The black cotton pants and red button down shirt he wore gave him a cultured look, but his eyes were sending a different message. Derek closed the door, not releasing her from his pinning gaze. Her breath was caught at her throat and her heart pounded like there was no tomorrow.

"I've gone through hell to get back to you, Meredith, but you can't seem to walk across the room to meet me." The accusation was made in a smooth, low tone laced with sarcastic amusement.

Her steps were stiff and her back rigid as she approached him. Stopping in front of him, she searched her mind for words that she could sincerely say.

"I'm glad you're back safely," were the ones she could offer that had a ring of truth.

Derek waited – for her kiss and the muscles in her stomach contracted sharply in realization. After hesitating for a second, she forced herself on tiptoes to bring her lips against his mouth in a cool kiss. His hands spanned the back of her waist, burning through the material on her naked flesh. His light touch felt foreign, almost alien.

At her attempt to break the kiss, Derek's arms held her close, his fingers raking into her dirty blond hair to force her lips to his. Her slender body was pressed onto his. Her heartbeat skittered madly in alarm. The hungry demand of his bruising mouth asked more that Meredith could give to a man who seemed more of a stranger than her husband.

Then she finally broke free. Her breathing was rugged and uneven and she avoided his eyes. "I have to get dressed." She breathed. "They're waiting downstairs." She turned and started walking back to her closet. Meredith could feel his blue eyes boring holes into her. Her knees felt like jell-o.

"You mean Michael is waiting," Derek corrected with deadly softness.

"Of course, isn't Michael there with the others?" Something in her ticked.

"I've had three and a half years of forced celibacy, Meredith. How about you?" The dry accusation in his voice spun her around, fires blazing in her green eyes. But Derek didn't give her a chance to defend herself. "How long after I disappeared before Michael moved in?" He was now standing in front of her.

"He didn't _move_ in!" she denied.

At that he grabbed her hand, his strong grip almost crushing the slender bones of her fingers. "Don't you call it moving in when another man's ring joins the ones I put on you finger? Did you think I wouldn't notice?" he blazed, releasing her hand in a violent gesture of disgust.

"What did you want me to say? 'Honey, I'm so glad you're alive. Oh, by the way, I'm engaged to another man.' Forgive me for having more sense than that!" She spat back.

"When he proposed to me, I thought you were dead and I was free to accept."

"So are you saying that you wish I was still in the grave!?!"

"No! I don't wish that," she denied.

"Well, now you know I'm alive. You're my wife. You're still married to me." The way he said it in such cold, concise tones, made it sound like a life sentence.

"I'm aware of that, Derek." Meredith was trembling, she didn't know from what. "But this isn't the time to discuss this. Your mother is waiting downstairs and I still have to get dressed for dinner."

"Yes," he agreed after a silent pause, "now is not the time." Then he walked to the door, yanked it open and slammed it shut.

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Dinner had gone by smoothly. She sat at his left side. Derek made the appropriate comments and praises on the food. But Meredith could tell that he didn't enjoy them like he used to. He made small talk to the guests, he acted normally.

After dinner, coffee was served in the living room. Derek kept Meredith by his side the whole time. Michael stood at the far side of the room, talking to some people. As Meredith glanced his way, he looked up, excused himself from the conversation and walked towards them. As Michael approached, Meredith saw Derek's eyes narrowing as he spotted him coming.

"Just like old times, Derek," Michael began, forcing a smile, "coming over to your house and –"

"Michael," Derek interrupted calmly, "Meredith has told me about your engagement." The room grew silent.

"I'm glad you know. I –" Michael lowered his gazed searching for words.

"I don't bear ill feelings, Michael. You've always been a good friends and I'd like it to continue that way." Derek offered his hand to Michael and he shook it.

"Naturally, the engagement is off," Derek stated with a smile that contrasted the sharp seriousness in his eyes.

"Yes," Michael agreed with a slight smile of his own.

Meredith felt a rush of anger that she could be tossed aside so readily without protest. And that she hadn't been consulted about her feelings and wishes on the matter. But she immediately berated herself. It was what she wanted. Derek was alive and she was married to him. She didn't want to divorce him to marry Michael, so why was she freaking out?

After that confrontation about the engagement, the party became anticlimactic. And a few moments later, the guests had begun leaving.

"That's all of them," Derek announced as the last members of the guests went out the door.

"I'll go help your mother and Mary clean up," Meredith started to turn away.

"There's no need," Derek caught her arm but released it quickly, "I'm sure they can handle it."

Meredith didn't protest, the day had been exceptionally long. And she was physically beat as well as mentally exhausted. All she really wanted was to go to sleep, so she started for the stairs, half aware that Derek was following close behind her.

"You didn't return Michael's ring," he stated flatly.

"No…" she raised her hand and glanced at the ring, "I must have forgotten." She was too tired to care about such a small detail.

Suddenly, Derek seized her hand and stripped the ring from her finger and placed it on her palm.

"You'll return it to him tomorrow, when he comes for Sunday brunch."

Meredith didn't answer; she just turned and resumed climbing the stairs. When she reached the top, she walked towards her bedroom, the first door on the right. As she reached the door, Derek's arm reached around her to open the door. She stopped and whipped around, her expression perplexed.

"What are you doing?" She frowned.

"I'm going to bed." He raised an eyebrow as he eyed her coolly. "Where do you think I was going to sleep?"

Meredith's gaze darted madly about, as if hoping for someone to come to her rescue. "I…I didn't actually think about it." She faltered. "I had gotten used to sleeping alone…" she trailed off.

His hand was at the small of her back, firmly directing her into the room. "Surely, you don't expect that to continue?"

"I….," god, she did, Meredith realized. "I think it would be better…..for a while." She stopped at the center of the room.

"You do?" His head tilted to the right, his blue eyes meeting her wavering look.

"I do." Meredith's heart quickened as Derek took off his coat and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Derek, it's been three and a half years," she tried to reason with him.

"Tell me about it," he inserted dryly.

"I don't know you anymore. You're like a stranger to me." Her throat tightened, making her voice small. "I can't just hop into bed with – "

"Your husband?" He finished the sentence and looked at her with burning eyes. "Who else would you choose?"

The shirt was coming off exposing his tanned chest and shoulders. Meredith's senses sprang in alarm as she felt the force of his desire. In an attempt to break the spell, she stiffly walked to her dresser, placing Michaels ring in her jewel case.

"No one. That isn't what I meant." She stood in front of the dresser, hands flat on its top.

"You've become hard, Derek, a cynic," she accused, lifting her gaze to the mirror, as he came up behind her. "I can imagine what you've gone through – "

"Can you?" he cut her off bitterly. "Can you imagine how many nights I held on my sanity by holding on to the vision of a woman with striking green eyes and dirty blond hair that smelled of lavender?" His fingers twined themselves through her hair. "And when I finally see her again, she's clinging to the arm of my best friend." All he wanted was for her lips to kiss away those horrible memories.

"Did you even miss me, Meredith?" He turned her around, yanking her towards him. "Did you even grieve?"

"When you disappeared, I was falling apart with fear. But your mother was even more of a mess. So I had to be strong and be there for her. I spent most of my time comforting her." Her eyes stung with tears that she refused to shed.

"And then the company started to fall apart and Michael insisted that I had to take over. So I was forced to go in head first into another world. In the morning I was too busy trying to save the company and in the evening, there was your mother who needed comforting and support. The only time I had for myself was in this room. And I took sleeping pills so I could get some rest and be able to get through the next day. So, the truth is, Derek, I didn't have time to grieve."

"But you had time for Michael," he accused, unmoved by her words and stared at her with dark icy eyes.

Meredith flinched at that. "It started very innocently. He was your best friend. Michael was always there. It grew from there after you were reported killed. I needed him." She explained.

"And I need you – now." He drew her inside his strong arms, flattening her against his bare chest.

Her senses rocked at the feel of his flesh beneath her hands. His warm breath hovered over her face, his musky scent enveloping her. His hand crept to her back and the zipper of her dress was undone.

"Stop it!" She struggled to keep him from sliding the dress of her shoulders.

"No!" he growled. Stopping her protests with his mouth.

Meredith pushed and twisted, trying to escape. But he was too strong for her. Cruelly, Derek ravished the softness of her lips. Beneath her straining hands, she felt the flexing of his muscles. He was slowly devouring her strength, wearing her down. She tried to pound at him, but her tiny ineffectual fists made little damage. Her efforts were futile.

When the pressure of his mouth eased, as he came up for air, she yanked and broke out of his arms. Gasping for air, she backed down from him. But her retreat was stopped short by the dresser. Derek stared her down like a cornered animal.

"Derek, don't do this," She lifted her head, her eyes pleading as she gazed into his.

In one swift motion he was again in front of her. "Stop with the mock frigidity. I remember clearly what a passionate lover you are."

Meredith paled as she remembered too. Her veins jumping like beans when he drew her to his body.

"Don't destroy our marriage," she whispered her plea, "I want to love you again, Derek."

With a muffled curse, he buried his face in her hair. "Damn you! Why didn't you say that when I came home?" he muttered in a rasping sound that suggested pain. "Why did you have to wait until now?" Effortlessly, he swung her off her feet and into his arms, "I couldn't care less now. You're mine and I want you."

The lights were turned off, darkening the entire room. Derek carried her to the bed, guided by instinct. He didn't bother to pull down the covers as he laid her down the bed.

"Derek." There was an unspoken plea in the way she spoke his name, a last attempt to make him stop.

"No," he answered, the cushion sagged under his weight. "Don't ask me to wait, Mer." His low voice commanded near hear ear, his breath stirring her hair. "It's been too long."

A series of drugging passionate kisses made Meredith's mind blank to all but the demands of her body. For a time, she glimpsed heights she had thought she would never see again. Derek sought out all the places that brought her the most pleasure, waiting until she moaned his name in final surrender.

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**Phew! So that's chapter 2. And just like the MerDer we know so well, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Well, Meredith did protest at first but she caved in the end. Who could resist the charms of McDreamy, right? Lol. **

**So, I would like to hear from you. Reviews, please. **

**Next chapter (again, if I get enough reviews. Hehe!): What's next after all that? And conflict will rise in the office.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yay! Here's chapter three. I won't be able to update for a while because I'm gonna be going on a vacation for a few days. But I'll try to update as soon as I get back, okay? Please don't hate me. Lol.**

**I'm kinda sad because I didn't get reviews for chapter 2 as many as I did for the first chapter. Didn't you guys like it? **

**Well, on with the chapter. Hope you'll like it. And thanks a bunch to those who reviewed for chapter two, both here and over at LJ. You guys rock!**

Meredith lay in bed, feeling cold and empty despite the fact that the covers were pulled up to her neck. She stared up at the dark ceiling. She felt like crying. Physically her desires had been satisfied by Derek's skilled knowledge. But she hadn't been lifted to the blissful heights of a spiritual union. That only happens when there was love involved. Tonight, however, was just a mutual satisfaction of sexual desires and nothing more.

Derek lay beside her, their bodies not touching. Both of his hands were raised, his head lying on them. Meredith cast a sideways glance at him in the dim light. The gloomy expression on his face told her that he might also be experiencing the same reaction.

Moments later, Derek tossed aside the blanket draped across his waist and swung his feet to the floor. Meredith turned her head to look at him.

"Where are you going?" she asked softly. Something in her felt that if Derek would hold her in his arms, the aching emptiness inside her might go away.

"To find a spare blanket and a hard floor. The mattress is too soft." He spoke in a low cynical voice, walking towards the door. "I'm used to firm beds. That's what comes from spending too many nights sleeping on trees and hard ground." He stopped at the door. "You have part of your wish, Meredith. The bed is all yours. You can sleep alone."

As the door closed, Meredith felt a chill go through her. She turned her face into her pillow, curling her body into a tight ball of pain. She forced herself to sleep to numb the ache in her heart.

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Meredith was awoken by a hand gently, but persistently shaking her arm.

"Miss Meredith? Wake up, please."

She slowly opened her eyes, her lashes fluttered, slightly shaking her head to get rid of the sleepiness.

"Mary, what is it?" Meredith's eyes focused on the panicked expression of their housekeeper. She dragged the covers over her as she became aware her naked state beneath. She suddenly became conscious of the condition of the room. It was a mess, her and Derek's clothes scattered all over the place.

The older woman bit her lip, uncertain of what to say. "It's Mr. Shepherd."

"Derek? Why? What's wrong with Derek?" Meredith shot up, propping herself up on her elbows, confusion chasing away her sleepiness.

"He's…um….sleeping….in the…um…library." Mary's face suddenly became beat red. "He has a blanket over him but….I think….he's not…um…wearing an…anything."

Meredith swallowed back her smile. Mary Schneider was one of those old fashioned women. Never married, the woman was probably appalled at the sight of Derek sleeping with nothing on in the library.

"I see," Meredith nodded, trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"I think you should….probably be the one to wake him up. Mr. Stanton will be here soon. Mrs. Shepherd had a few things sent over yesterday for Mr. Shepherd. I placed them in the closet." Mary informed her.

"Ok. Thanks," Meredith replied. "Oh, and Mary," she called as the housekeeper was walking towards the door, "you should probably tell Mrs. Shepherd to buy a very firm mattress, one that's as hard as a rock."

"Ok. I will," Mary answered.

She waited for Mary to exit the room before getting up from the bed. She got her robe and threw it over herself. Then she went over to one of the closet where a few of Derek's clothes were placed, grabbed his robe and a pair of boxers and headed downstairs.

Meredith stopped at the door of the library, her hand over the knob. Her body froze in tension and her stomach twisted at the sudden attack of nervousness. Forcing herself to ignore the feeling, she turned the knob and walked into the library. Her gaze immediately focused on the floor, to the open area in front of the fire place.

"I figured Mary would send you in," Derek's voice mocked from the side of the room.

Meredith tuned in its direction and saw him leaning on one of the tall shelves filled with books, a dark green blanket wrapped around his waist. His wavy locks hand been finger combed. Meredith swallowed hard.

"So, you knew she came in?"

"Yes, but I decided to pretend to be sleeping to save her from embarrassment." He admitted with a mocking tone. All those months in the jungle had sharpened his senses, making him more sensitive to all kinds of sound and movement, especially during sleep.

Derek was looking at her face. Meredith wasn't quite sure, but he looked as if he were searching for something. It made her uncomfortable and suddenly wished that she had put on some clothes before coming down.

"I brought your boxers and robe." She held it out to him, her hand slightly trembling but Derek didn't notice. And when he made no move to take it, Meredith was forced to walk to him.

Self-cautiously, she looked away when Derek reached down to unwrap the blanket around his waist. Her face colored as she averted her eyes.

"It's safe to look now." Derek taunted when he finished.

She flashed him an angry look then turned away. Her pulse accelerated in nervousness. His hand touched her shoulder and she moved away.

"What? I can't even touch my wife now?" He cursed under his breath.

She turned, her green eyes wary. "I don't feel like I'm your wife, Derek," she said tightly. "I don't feel like I'm married to you."

Fires immediately blazed in his eyes. "**You** _are_ **married to me**," he stated and walked passed her towards the door. Yanking it open, he called, "Mary! Bring some coffee into the library for me and my _wife_." With obvious emphasis on 'wife.'

"Michael is coming and I still have to shower and change," Meredith reminded. She didn't want to spend any more time with him.

"We still have an hour before he comes." Derek caught her arm and released it right away.

Seconds later Mary walked in. She hurriedly carried the tray of a coffee service and two cups to the small table beside the leather couch. Then she left right away, clearly still embarrassed for what happened earlier. Derek walked to the tray. Lifting the coffee pot, he filled the two cups and handed one to Meredith.

"Black as I remember, with no sugar."

"Yes, thank you." Meredith took the cup and saucer from his hand.

Derek took a sip from his cup. "Ah….I've forgotten how good coffee can taste in the morning." He mused.

"I thought you don't forget anything." She couldn't help retorting.

"I don't forget the important things." He replied plainly.

With a broken sigh, she wandered towards the window overlooking the massive front lawn of the house. The memory of the last time she stared out the particular window flashed in her mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek was close, only a few steps behind her.

"Nothing." She lied, feeling his gaze roaming over her. The last time she was here was the night of her engagement with Michael. That was just a night ago, but to her it felt like years ago.

The cup nearly slipped from her fingers as she felt his fingers brush against her hair. Her throat constricted, shutting off her voice and her breath.

"Have I told you I like you hair this length?" His low voice was husky, sending shivers down her spine. _He had noticed._

He lifted her hair aside and pushed it away from her neck. She felt his warm breath against her skin, and then she had a glimpse of the waving darkness of his hair in her side vision. Her heart felt as though it had been knocked sideways as his mouth sought and found the sensitive and most vulnerable spot at the base of her neck. She felt weak all over, her head tipped down and to the side to give him freer access.

The cup rattled on the saucer, but she managed to hold on to it. His arms wrapped around her waist to draw her back close to him. And for a second, she was transported to another world. Then a hand slid under the fold of her robe and the arms suddenly felt strange.

"Derek, no!" she weakly tugged at his wrist. He was too strong for her.

She gasped as his mouth moved upwards to her ear. Her body felt boneless. It was a dizzying sensation, drums pounding in her ears.

"Do you remember the way we used to make love in the mornings?" Derek murmured against her temple.

"Yes," she moaned, she remembered all too well.

With one fluid motion, Derek had taken the cup away from her. It took insignificant force to turn her around. She lifted her head, subconsciously bracing herself for the punishment of his rough kisses. Her fingers held on to his shoulders for support.

He teased her lips. "After last night, I thought I had you out of my system," he said against her lips, "but I want you more that before."

A half-sob came from her throat at the absence of any mention of love. But in the next second, she didn't care anymore as his mouth was over hers in a sweet kiss. The kiss wasn't demanding, only a coaxing pressure for her to respond. Her lips parted willingly, surrendering to his drugging kiss. Her fingers found their way through the thickness of his wavy hair. His earthy masculine scent invaded her nose.

His mouth trailed down to explore the pulsing vein in her neck. "Did Michael ever make you feel like this?" he challenged.

Meredith caught her breath sharply in pain. She pushed out of his arms and stared at him with wounded pride. "Was that all this has been?" she rasped, a mixture of hurt and anger in her eyes. "To prove yourself better than Michael?" Then in her mind, _'Hadn't it been anything more than that?'_

"Did he?" Derek ignored her question and repeated his.

"You'll never know," she chocked her answer, her temper rising. "Maybe he made me feel better."

His breathing ragged. He took a threatening step towards her; his featured had changed with anger. Meredith knew it was useless to try and run away. So she stood her ground, refusing to be threatened by him. Just then there was a knock as the door.

"Who is it?" Derek demanded, casting an angry glance as the door.

The door opened and Michael walked in. "I'm a bit early, I know. But I had to come here as soon as I can to warn you that the press has gotten word that something's up with the company, but they don't know it's because you're back, yet." He stopped, looking at Derek, and sensing for the first time the heaviness in the atmosphere. "Mary said you were here. I….I didn't think you'd mind….if I joined you." He quipped hesitantly.

"Of course not." Meredith was thankful of the diversion, and quickly seized the moment as an excuse to leave. "I'll leave you two to have your coffee."

"I hope you're not leaving because of me," Michael frowned.

"No," Meredith gave him a reassuring smile. "I was going upstairs anyway to get ready for brunch. I'll be down in a while." She said before she exited the room, avoiding Derek's mocking gaze.

Once she was dressed, Meredith slipped Michael's ring into the pocket of her jeans. She hoped that sometime during the day, they would have time alone, to have the chance to return it to him.

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But it was already late in the afternoon when she finally had the chance. The press had inevitably learned of Derek's return. And for the most part of the day, they were busy answering questions from the media people, both personally and through the phone. Derek answered each question in concise sentences, with no elaboration.

Finally, at five in the afternoon, the press seemed to have died down and the house was again back to its normal quiet state. Caroline Shepherd, who had insisted to serve coffee and snacks to all media men who came over, was now busy helping Mary clear away the mess.

The phone rang and Derek answered it, when it appeared to be another interview, probably the last one, Meredith opted to go help clean up the mess. However when she noticed Michael slip away to the library, she excused herself, knowing she might not have another chance to speak to him alone.

Michael was pouring whiskey for himself when the door opened. "Would you like to have a drink?" He asked when he looked up and saw Meredith entering the room.

"Yes, pour me champagne?" She quietly closed the door, shutting out Derek's voice from the living room.

"Sure thing." He said reaching for another glass. "It's been a hectic day, huh?"

"Yeah," Meredith walked over to take the champagne glass from his hand.

"Derek sure does know who to handle himself with the press," Michael remarked.

"Yes, he does," Meredith sipped at her drink.

There was a moment of silence; neither of them knew how to continue the conversation. Meredith placed her glass on the counter, deciding to be the one to break the ice.

"Michael," She started, "I've been wanting to see you today, alone," She reached into her pocket and retrieved the ring, "to return this to you."

He took it from her hand, looking boyishly uncomfortable. He rubbed it with his thumb and stared at it, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"I don't want you to get the idea that I was brushing you off yesterday," His voice uncertain, still looking down.

"No, no, no," Meredith shook her head. "I'm sorry too."

"Hey," Michael finally met her gaze, reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder, "I know how you felt about Derek. I can never compete with that. I didn't want to stand in the way. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be." He looked at her sincerely and Meredith gave him an understanding smile.

Michael smiled in relief. "You must be really happy that he's back."

"I…," she was about to repeat the positive words she had been saying to the press all day but she couldn't. Michael had become her best friend over the years, she could tell him anything. "He's changed, Michael."

"Well, considering all that Derek has been through, it's just natural that he did," he offered.

"I know, but –" she let out a frustrated sigh. She couldn't find the words to explain.

"Hey, come on," Michael gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, "you and Derek care so much about each other. You'll work out your differences. You just need a little time, you'll see." He reasoned. "Now, how about you flash me a real smile?"

Meredith smiled; his positive attitude had affected her.

"There it is!" he grinned.

"Thanks, Michael," Meredith said sincerely and gave him a hug.

At that time the knob turn and the door was opened by Derek. He froze at the sight of Meredith in Michael's arms. She paled as she saw how hard his jaw was clenched. But his emotion was well hidden when he spoke. "Is this a private party or can anyone join?"

Meredith withdrew her arms from around Michael and took hold of her champagne glass. With that comment from Derek, she knew that he wouldn't be throwing any fires just yet. And for the rest of the evening, through dinner, Derek put on a pleasant attitude.

It was already late in the evening when Michael left. And as his car backed away from the driveway, Meredith started to walk towards the living room when Derek grabbed her arm. They stopped in the hallway.

"Stay away from Michael." He commanded, his gaze hard and merciless.

"What?" She was outraged. All the blame for the innocent encounter was placed on her. "I can't just stop talking to him!"

"Whatever relationship you had with him before is over now," Derek stated coldly. "From now on, he'll simply be an acquaintance to you."

"That's impossible!" Did he want her to dismiss Michael as quickly as a snap of the fingers? "I can't just forget what he meant to me!"

His hands forcibly dug into her arms jerking her towards him. And before she knew it, her lips were crushed by kiss angry kiss, telling her that she was his and erasing any memory of another's mouth.

Meredith pushed hard on her chest, escaping his embrace. Taking a step backwards, she glared at him.

"You – " she began with weak rage.

"Don't push me, Meredith!" Derek warned.

They stood there glaring at each other in dead silence. Meredith didn't know how long the battle of wills would have continued if his mother hadn't showed up.

"Derek, Mary told me that you had some blankets brought to the library. Are you going to sleep there again tonight?" Caroline frowned.

"Yes mom, I am." He replied plainly. "It's better to not sleeping at all."

"I suppose so," his mother sighed in reluctant agreement. "Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight, mom," Derek turned and walk away.

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Meredith woke up the next morning and immediately prepared for work. When she went downstairs, Derek was nowhere to be found. When she asked Mary, the older woman informed her that Derek had gone out saying that he had a meeting with the family attorney. Meredith just nodded, grabbed some breakfast and headed for the office.

She walked down the corridor to her office, keeping a steady pace as she greeted various employees.

"Good morning, Diane," she greeted cheerfully.

"Good morning, Mrs. Shepherd," the younger woman greeted back, beaming at her. "You're in good spirits this morning."

"Yes, I am," Meredith agreed. She had a good night's sleep and she luckily evaded the expected clash with Derek this morning. So, in a way, she was happy, at least for the moment.

"Your good spirits wouldn't have anything to with Mr. Shepherd coming back, would it? Diane asked with a knowing twinkle in her eyes, and then continued, "All of us here are happy that he's back safely."

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "Any messages for me this morning?" she changed the subject. "Any calls?"

"No messages, and…only one call," the secretary replied, "but Mr. Shepherd already took the call."

"Mr. Shepherd?" she repeated. "You mean Derek is already here?"

"Yes, he's in the office." Diane motioned towards Meredith's private office. "He told me to let you in when you arrive."

For a few seconds, Meredith was too stunned to speak. It was _her_ office, her pride protested. And _her_ secretary was giving her permission to enter it. She green eyes darkened with bitter rage and irritation. Derek had moved in and managed to convey the impression that she moved out. Without bothering to knock at the door, she yanked it open and saw Derek sitting behind the massive walnut desk – _her_ desk! He looked up when she entered, an arrogant brow raised. This blew the fuse to her temper.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I was about to ask you the same question," Derek countered with sickening calmness.

"This happens to be _my_ office and that's _my_ secretary outside!" Meredith retorted. "And those are _my_ notes!" She added motioning to the papers he held in his hands.

He leaned back in the swivel chair, looking at her with little emotion. "I was under the impression that all of this," he waved his hand in an encircling gesture, "belonged to the company."

"I happen to be in charge of the company," she reminded him.

"You _were_ in charge of the company," he corrected. "I'm in charge now."

"You're taking over," she repeated, her anger becoming uncontrollable. "Just like that?!?"

"Yes, your job is done." Derek shrugged. "And you did an excellent job from what I've seen." It was a compliment but the way he said it only made her angrier.

"And what am I supposed to do?" she demanded.

"Go home." His frowned, as if not understanding why she was upset.

"And do what?" Meredith challenged. "Sit around the house the whole day? Mary does the cooking and cleaning. It's your mother's house, Derek. There's nothing for me to do there."

"You can go to the school and start teaching little kinds again or you can start looking for a house of our own," he suggested. "That's what you wanted before, right? A place of our own that you can decorate the way you want it?"

A part of her still wanted that, but not as much as she did before. "That was before, Derek." She argued. "I've changed. And if we did have a house and the decorating was all done the way I wanted it, what would I do then? Sit around and admire my decorating skills? No, I enjoy my work here. It's demanding and it's fulfilling."

He watched here with narrowed eyes. "What you're saying is that you enjoy the power that goes along with it."

"I enjoy the power," Meredith admitted without hesitation, her chin raised in confidence. "I also enjoy the challenges and the responsibilities that come with it. Not only men have the right to feel those emotions."

"So what are you suggesting, Mer? That we reverse our roles? That I find the house; do all the decorating?"

"No, I didn't say that." Now she was confused. She didn't know what the solution was.

"Maybe you'd like me to take another flight to South America and not bother to come back this time?"

"No, I wouldn't – and stop twisting my words!"

Tears flooded her eyes, all the emotions in her was become too much to control. Looking away, she frantically tried to blink back the tears, not wanting Derek to see them. The swivel chair squeaked as Derek rose and approached her.

"Is this the way you handle business disagreements?" He taunted.

Meredith didn't answer and kept her face away from him. His thumb and fingers clamped on her chin, forcing her to face him. "Do you usually give in to a female display of tears when you don't get what you want?"

There were too much tears in her eyes that she could barely see his face. "No," she retorted, pushing his hand away from her chin. "Do you always attack on a personal level when someone doesn't agree with you?"

He let out a long sigh, and then his fingers curved to the back of her neck, forcing her head in the space between his neck and his shoulder. An arm wrapped around her to draw her close. She felt him place a light kiss at the side of her head, just above her ear. His embrace was strong and warm but Meredith refused to give in to Derek's attempt to comfort her.

"Would you mind telling me what the hell I'm supposed to do about this?" Derek muttered.

"I don't know," she sniffled, her hands shook as she wiped her tears.

"Mer," Derek held her face with both hands, wiping a way her tears with his thumbs. His features softened at the sight of her teary eyes. Then the phone rang. Derek moved and held onto Meredith's hand as he quickly moved towards the table, pulling her close behind him.

"Yes," he irritably pressed the loud speaker button.

"Um….Mr. Stanton wanted me to tell you that everyone's already in the meeting room, waiting for you." Diane informed.

"Meeting? I didn't schedule any meeting for this morning." Meredith's browed furrowed.

"I called it." Derek replied plainly. "Ok, tell them I'll be there in a minute." He hung up.

"You weren't going to tell me about the meeting, were you?" she accused.

"No," he replied.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm out and you're in." she said dismissingly, snatching her hand away from his.

Derek raked a hand through his hair, rumpling into an attractive mess. "What am I supposed to do, Meredith?" he demanded impatiently.

"That's up to you," she shrugged, pretending to be unmoved amidst the fact that every part of her struggled with the prospect of the empty life ahead of her. "If you don't mind, I'd like to borrow _your_ secretary. A letter formally tendering my resignation will be on _your_ desk when you return from your meeting." And before Derek could say anything else, she turned at her heel and rush out, slamming the door behind her.

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**Right. That's it for this chapter. **

**Yeah, Derek's been acting like a jerk, but I guess that's because he'd been really jealous of Michael. And he's a little angry with Meredith for moving on, but he can't really blame her. He knew he was gone for three and a half years! And that everyone really believed he was dead. But I hope that you saw how the 'real' Derek comes in from time to time (the library moment and the one in the office). **

**And as for Michael, I knew I had to get him out of the picture. I was thinking of whether he should exit as a good guy or a hateful guy. But in the end, as you've read, he was a good guy. He and Meredith had become good friends over the years. And he understood from the start that Meredith loves Derek. That was shown in chapter one. He knew that she wasn't sure of the engagement in the first place because of that.**

**As for Meredith, the original story was really old fashioned, so her character was supposed to be a housewife. But I didn't want that. So I just slipped in there that she was a teacher before (perhaps kindergarten). I don't know if you guys like that. But I could just picture Meredith being a cool teacher. Heehee! **

**So…what do you think? Reviews? Yes, please. Go on now, click the itty bitty purple icon beside the 'Submit Review' at the bottom of the page. Lol.**

**Next chapter (needs reviews to get me started, hehe!): Meredith calls Michael to meet her somewhere. What does Derek do about this? **


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes: Hello everybody! I'm back! Lol. And here's a new chapter. I really hope you'll like this one. **

**Thank you very much for the reviews! They really make me happy and inspire me a lot. **

**Now, on with chapter 4. **

Meredith was met with the curious and widened gaze of the secretary, Diane Chandler. Apparently, the walls of the private office are not thick enough to shut out the sound of their raised voices. Meredith strained to appear composed despite her fight with Derek as she walked to Diane's desk.

"Put aside whatever you're doing, Diane," she ordered, trying to ignore the Diane's curious look. "I want you to type a letter of resignation – for me. You know the standard form of these things. Just keep it simple and direct. Effective immediately."

"Right away, Mrs. Shepherd," Diane murmured, immediately turning to her computer.

The office door was pulled open and Meredith glanced over her shoulder to see Derek walk through. She could tell that he himself was trying to keep his emotions in check. Derek looked at her and walked towards her. She didn't want to talk to him anymore but she stood there motionless as he walked to her, the force of his gaze vibrating all over her body.

"Meredith, I – " Derek didn't get the rest of his sentence out.

"Oh, I see you're on your way," Michael suddenly appeared from the corridor. "I was just coming to see how much longer you'd be." His gazed switched its attention to Meredith and became troubled at the sight of the lines of stress in her face.

"Yes, I'm on my way," Derek agreed crisply, and looked back at Meredith. "I want you to attend the meeting, Meredith." He stated.

Meredith's brows furrowed, there was something in his gaze, it was almost like he was pleading for her to agree. But her pride has gotten the best of her. "No. It's better for everyone to realize that you're in charge now. My being there might confuse them." She saw his featured harden at her response.

"Let's go," Derek turned abruptly, addressing Michael and in a silent storm, he walked out of the room. Meredith stood there feeling drained and colorless; a mixture of emotions washing over her. Her nerves felt like it might snap at the slightest pressure. When the letter of resignation was printed out, her hand trembled as she affixed her signature to it.

"Please put it on Mr. Shepherd's desk," she said, handing the letter to Diane.

"It was nice working for you, Mrs. Shepherd," the young secretary sincerely offered as Meredith turned to go.

"Thank you, Diane," Meredith gave a small smile, and then hurried from the room.

Leaving the building, she walked to her car. She didn't want to go home. She knew there was no way she could handle listening to Caroline Shepherd's happy conversation about Derek's return. With the top down on the white sports car, she drove with no destination in mind. She drove around the city but half the time, she was too blinded by tears to know where she was. She drove around and through the back streets, the main streets and the side streets, the wind whipping at her hair, glittering in the morning air.

Meredith instinctively glanced at the dashboard and found the gasoline gauge hovering at the empty mark. She forced all her thoughts aside as she parked in a gas station and waited in the building while her tank was being filled. Then they returned with a pounding force. Meredith relentlessly searched her purse for her cell phone and dialed the number of the one person who she leaned on in the past three and a half years.

"Hey," Michael's familiar voice came through the phone.

"Michael, it's me," she rushed.

"Yeah, um…what's the matter?" he sounded uncertain and guarded.

"Are you alone?"

"No." Which meant that Derek must be with him. Meredith wasn't sure how she knew it was Derek and not someone else, but she was pretty sure of it.

"Michael, I have to talk to you…I need to talk," she pleaded. Glancing at her watch, she didn't give him a chance to reply, "Can you meet me for lunch?"

She heard the deep breath he took before he answered, "I'm sorry, I've already made plans for lunch."

"I have to see you," she repeated. "What about later?"

"Why don't we get together for a drink? Around 6?"

"Okay," she agreed. It was a long wait but she realized it was the best he could offer. "I'll meet you at Joe's."

"I'll meet you there," Michael promised.

"And, Michael," Meredith hesitated, "please don't tell Derek. He wouldn't understand."

There was a long pause before he finally said, "No, I won't. See you then."

Meredith hung up and walked back to her car. Turning the key in the ignition, she started the car and drove away, wondering what she was going to do for the rest of the day.

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"No, I won't. See you then." Michael said and then hung up. He let out a long sigh as he set his phone down.

"That was Meredith." Derek, who was seated in front of him stated. It wasn't a question. He knew. His features hardened. Michael could tell that he was trying very hard to contain himself.

"Yes." Michael said. Standing up and stuffing his hands into his pockets. He looked out of the window, thought for a few seconds before tuning to his friend. "Look Derek, I know you don't like me very much right now. But I'm your friend and you have to listen to me. I know you had a tough time in the jungle. God only knows how much you've been through. But have you thought of what Meredith has been through?" Derek just looked away, and he continued. "She was a wreck Derek, that time when you were missing and more so when they finally said that there were no survivors. But she had to be strong, for your mother and the company. When I asked her to marry me…" Derek's head immediately turned to face him.

Michael held his palm towards him, urging him to listen. "When I asked her to marry me, she didn't say yes immediately. And then when she finally did, she wasn't sure if she did the right thing. And that was because of you, Derek. She loves you and even if she thought you were gone she still felt like she was betraying you. You've changed Derek, and that's understandable. But you're still Derek, the old you is still there somewhere. And maybe, just for Meredith, you could bring him back."

Derek just sat there, staring back at his friend. Then the telephone rang.

"Yes?" Michael said, answering the phone, "yes, ok. I'll be right there."

Michael sighed as he hung up and looked back at Derek. "So, I'm going to call her later and tell her that I won't be able to make it to Joe's. But you should go. You need to talk to her. Spend some time together."

Derek looked away and gave a small nod. Michael opened the door of his office. He was about to walk out when Derek called him, "Michael, tell her to just go home. I'll talk to her at home."

"Okay." Michael agreed and left.

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Meredith sat at the part of the bar where she had a total view of the entrance door. A drink was in front of her, untouched, the ice melting. She glanced at her watch, five more minutes, and Michael would be there.

She had called Caroline an hour earlier to tell her that she would be late without explaining why or where she was. Derek would surely be angry. But she would think about the consequences of her meeting with Michael later.

A long time has passed and Michael still hasn't arrived. Meredith frowned as she once again glanced at her watch. It was already 6:30. Michael was never late. And then her phone rang, it was Michael.

"Hello? Where are you?" Meredith asked in a confused tone.

"Meredith, I'm sorry, I meant to call earlier." Michael said sincerely. "I'm sorry but I won't be able to meet you today. I'm still in a meeting with some of our executives. And it's running long, so….I'm sorry." Michael finished.

"That's okay," Meredith replied in a defeated tone.

"We'll meet up some other time. You should go home, take some rest. It'll be okay." Michael offered.

"Okay. Thanks, Michael. Bye." She said, smiling lightly before hanging up. She eyed the drink in front of her. She didn't want to go home just yet. She just wanted shut out everything for a while. And she knew exactly how to do it.

"Joe," she called the bartender, who was an old friend, "give me a shot of tequila."

"Tequila?" Joe raised an eyebrow. "Something bad happened?"

"Yeah,' was Meredith's only reply, and Joe knew that she didn't want to talk about it. But he amusedly smiled to himself because he would eventually know what was wrong. But not until the third shot of tequila.

"Here 'ya go," he said pouring tequila to a shot glass.

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Meredith looked around the bar, her head pounding. The tequila was already taking effect on her. She glanced back at the table and counted the shot glasses in front of her. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6._ That was about the number when she would normally be really drunk.

"Joe, I think you need to call a cab." She said, her speech a little slurry. Her vision was already blurry, she was in no shape to drive back home, she knew that much. She rested her head on her hand and looked ahead as she waited for her cab to arrive.

After a few moments, the door was opened. Meredith glanced to the door, and the figure that entered the lounge paralyzed her lungs. If it was even possible, her heart stopped beating, before it skyrocketed in alarm.

Just inside the bar, Derek paused, scanning the area. There was no way Meredith could escape without catching his attention. And she was too drunk. She tried to make herself small, hoping he wouldn't see her in this dim corner of the bar. Meredith felt rather than saw his gaze lock on her seconds before his strides carried him to her part of the bar.

When he stopped beside her, Meredith couldn't look up. Her hands curled into fists on the table. Derek took the seat beside her, not tearing his gaze away from her. He didn't speak, waiting for Meredith to acknowledge him first.

"Imagine meeting you here," she offered in a bitter tone, not letting her gaze lift from the shot glasses in front of her.

"It's not a coincidence," he replied, eyeing the six shot glasses in front of her. And he already knew that she was drunk. He couldn't help but smile amusedly at her. She was beautiful even when she was drunk. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair was is an attractive disarray.

"Why are you smiling?" she frowned. "And how did you know I was here?" she demanded.

"Michael told me." Derek answered, still smiling.

"He promised he wouldn't tell you!" she groaned, burying her face in her hands. Then she looked back at him, "why did he tell you?"

"He said we needed to talk and spend some time together." He answered truthfully, moving closer to her and tucking her hair behind her ear. "I waited for you at home, but you didn't come, so I decided to come here."

Meredith searched his face. It was as if the Derek had gone back to his old self. His blue eyes were soft and he had that dreamy smile on his face. Perhaps she was just too drunk, and she was imagining things, she told herself. Her brows furrowed in confusion. "Why are you –" She suddenly stopped mid-sentence, her hand shot up to cover her mouth.

Derek immediately stood up and moved beside her, one hand on the small of her back. "Meredith?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm okay. Just a false alarm." She supplied.

"Okay," Derek gently wrapped an arm around her small waist, "we have to get you home." He helped her stand up. Meredith didn't argue. She reached for her bag and let Derek help her stand up. With his free hand, Derek took a money clip from his pocket and peeled of a bill tossing it to the table. Then he held her and guided her out of the bar.

Meredith had fallen asleep sometime during the drive home. When they arrived, Derek carried her to their bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed and then slowly removed her coat and shoes. Then he walked towards the door when he heard her call his name. Meredith stirred and slowly sat up. "Derek?"

"Hey," Derek walked back to her, sitting at the side of the bed.

"I…." Meredith started but realized she didn't know what she wanted to say. She sat there staring at him.

Derek sighed, shaking his head. "I had a lot of time to think while I was trying to fight my way out of that tropical hell. I kept remembering all our quarrels that started over the damnest things. I kept telling myself that if I ever made it back, they were going to a thing in the past. Yet within hours after I saw you, we were at each other's throats." He finished, smiling bitterly.

"I know," She nodded.

Derek captured her chin and kissed her cheek then he slowly took possession of her mouth. The kiss was like a slow-burning flame that kept growing hotter. Its heat melted Meredith against his chest. Her throbbing pulse sounded loudly in her ears as the flames coursed through her body.

Before she surrendered completely to the weakness of her physical desire, she twisted away from his mouth and gently pushed against his chest. "Derek, I…."

"Okay." He said and Meredith looked back at him surprised. He set her away from him, as if removing himself from temptation. "I'll wait," he conceded. He ran his fingers through his hair as he stood up. "Go to sleep, Mer," he said with a hint of weariness, "I have some calls to make."

Meredith set her palms on the mattress and pressed on it. "I had Mary order a new mattress for you, and it looks like she put it in here. This bed is like sleeping on granite. I'll…..I'll sleep in the guest room."

Meredith was moving to get out of the bed but Derek stopped her. He crouched down, his both hands settled on her waist, giving it a light squeeze. "Am I asking too much to want my wife to sleep beside me?" he looked into her eyes, smiling ruefully.

Averting her head, she closed her eyes to murmur a soft, "No. it isn't too much."

The next sound she heard was the opening of the door. Meredith got up and changed for bed. After a few minutes she crawled beneath the covers, the bed barely giving a inch under her full weight. Thank goodness she was drunk, because if not, she would be hours away from sleep with this bed.

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A hand was making rubbing strokes along her upper arm, pleasantly soothing caresses, Then fingers tightened to shake her gently. "Come on, Mer, wake up!" a voice ordered.

"Mmmm." The negative sound vibrated from her throat as she snuggled deeper into her pillow.

Only it wasn't a pillow. There was a steady thud beneath her head and the pillow that wasn't a pillow moved up and down in regular rhythm. It definitely wasn't a pillow. She was nestled in the crook of Derek's arm, her hear resting on his chest. She had forsaken the hardness of the mattress some time in the night and cuddled up to the warm hardness of his body.

Her eyelids snapped open. Meredith would have moved away from him, but an arm around her tightened to hold her there for a few more seconds. Then a finger tipped her chin upward, forcing her to look at him. And her heart skipped a beat at the lazy warmth in his dreamy face.

"I'd miss what it was like to sleep with you." Derek murmured. "Arms and legs all over the place!" he chuckled.

Meredith turned red and rolled out of his arms. The movement immediately caused a wince of pain. Every bone and fiber in her body hurt caused by the night she spent on the rock-hard bed.

"How can you stand to sleep in this bed?" She groaned. "It's awful!"

"You'll get used to it." There was a laughing glint in his eyes as he spoke.

"What time is it?" Meredith questioned.

"Seven," he answered absently, rubbing the stubbles on his chin as he got out of the bed.

She started to rise gingerly. Then she remembered she no longer had any reason to go to the office and sank back to the mattress, her head throbbed from her hang-over, and irritation swept over her.

"Why did you wake me up?" She frowned.

"You'd be late for work," was Derek's even response.

"Have you forgotten?" Bitterness was in her voice. "I've been replaced. I'm a lady of leisure now."

"Are you?" He raised his brows then smiled, "your boss doesn't think so."

_Did he just smile?_ Meredith was confused. "Why are you being so nice? And what boss? You? You're my husband not my boss."

"Does that mean you're tuning it down?" he asked, ignoring her first question.

"What? Will you stop talking in riddles?"

"Maybe if you hadn't been so proud and stubborn yesterday morning and attended the meeting like I asked you to, you'd know what I'm taking about."

She pressed a hand against her forehead, tension and the after effects of the tequila pounding in her head. "I didn't attend the meeting, so could you explain?"

"We're starting a whole new advertising campaign to enhance the image of the Empire Hotel chain," he explained. "And you're going to be in charge of the campaign."

"What?" Derek's announcement brought her upright, wary disbelief and skepticism in the look she gave him. "Are you joking?"

"Hardly." He said plainly then he walked around the bed to where she stood. "I put the proposal for the campaign to the rest of the staff yesterday, along with the recommendation that you handle it." He informed her, his face turning serious.

"What are you up to?" She couldn't accept that there wasn't as ulterior motive behind the offer. Just yesterday in the office he looked like he wanted to pounce on her, and now he was acting like it they never had that argument and to top it all off, he was suddenly acting like his old self.

Almost immediately, Meredith mentally hit herself on the head, this is what she wanted. "Why didn't you tell me this last night?" she frowned. "Your decision had already been made early yesterday. Why did you wait until now to tell me?"

Derek studied her thoughtfully. "I was going to tell you last night when you came home, but circumstances changed my mind and I decided to wait."

"Oh," was her only reply.

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At the breakfast table, their conversation was frigidly civil.

"Please pass the juice."

"May I have the marmalade?"

That fragile mood of shy affection they had woken up to that morning was gone. Meredith frowned in confusion. What was her husband up to?

When they finished breakfast, Derek set his cup down. "We'll ride to the office together since your car is still at the bar's parking lot." He announced. Meredith didn't protest and nodded her agreement.

Meredith dreaded the whole ride to the office. They didn't utter a single word toward each other. Derek glanced at her a couple of times looking like he wanted to tell her something but that was it.

"I'll show you your office." Derek spoke to her in a professional manner as they entered the building.

The office room was not as big as the private office that she had gotten used to. But it was decent enough.

"Alright, I'll have every material you need for the campaign brought here in a few minutes." Derek said as she set her bag on the table. Then he turned and left her alone in her new office.

Meredith had kept herself busy the whole day. Michael had visited her a couple of times and informed her that he will be working with her on the campaign. But for the most part of the day, she busied herself browsing through the materials Derek had sent over.

Bent over her desk, Meredith was concentrating on the proposals from the selected advertising agencies that had arrived late in the afternoon. Absently she stroked the eraser tip of her pencil through her hair. She was so intent on the papers that she didn't hear the footsteps in the hallway or notice that a figure was standing in her open doorway.

"Are you planning to work late?" The sound of Derek's voice jerked her head up.

He stood there, leaning on the door frame, looking a bit tired and yet so magnetically attractive. The darkness of his tan seemed to have faded a little, but it still accented the while long sleeves he wore under his black cotton blazer. Through half-closed lids, he looked at her, creating the impression of lazy and friendly interest.

As always, when he caught her unaware, her pulse accelerated. An odd tightness gripped her throat, leaving her breathless and for a second, the room seemed to spin crazily. It was moments like these that Meredith wanted to just let the powerful attraction she felt simply carry away. But that was too easy and too dangerous. It wouldn't solve any of the differences that had grown in the years they were apart.

His question registered in a delayed reaction. She managed to tear her gaze away from his to glance at her watch, surprise to see it was a few minutes before six o'clock. The she notices the silence in the rest of the building. The muffled voices from the hallway and the clacking of the keyboards can no longer be heard. Nearly everyone had left for the day, except herself and Derek.

"I didn't realize it was so late," she offered to answer his question. "I just have to clear these things away."

As she stacked the proposals one on top of the other, Derek wandered in to the room. He suddenly seemed to fill every square inch of it. Within herself, Meredith was conscious of the intense disturbance his presence caused.

"How is the campaign doing?" he inquired, his gaze flicked to the papers in her hand and the continued, "How are you and Michael getting along?"

Meredith search for the antagonism in his voice and features, but it wasn't there. He was simply asking. "Good." She answered.

"Good." He reciprocated in response. And Meredith looked up to match his gaze.

"Hand me my sweater, please." Frigid politeness laced her voice.

Glancing around, Derek slipped it off the chair and held it out to her as she walked around the desk to the front. Silence has fallen over them as he helped her into her sweater. Derek reached for her wrist to fix the sleeve of the sweater to place.

"I have a selfish reason for wanting Michael to work with you on this project." He suddenly admitted, answering her unspoken question. His fingers were lightly stoking the inside of her wrist, a caressing motion that was disturbing.

A tingling warmth spread up her arm, her nerves fluttering in awareness of how close she stood to him. "What is it?" There was breathlessness to her voice as she spoke. Looking into his eyes, she was nearly overcome by the feeling that she could willingly drown in the dark pools.

"Because I know that eventually this project is going to involve a good deal of traveling and I wanted to make sure it wasn't my wife who went on these trips."

"I see." She couldn't think of anything else to say.

With a degree of reluctance, she withdrew from his touch, turning to the desk to pick up her handbag. "I'm ready to leave now," she said aware of the conflicting currents between them, alternately pulling and repelling. Derek didn't make a move to leave. He just stood there looking at her, making her feel more uncomfortable and unsure of her own needs and wants.

"When are you doing to make a decision, Meredith?" he asked her.

"Decision about what?" she turned to him confused.

"Whether you still want me as your husband." The was a hint of bitterness in his voice that made her feel guilty.

"Soon." She answered softly.

"Why are you waiting? What's holding you back?" he questioned. "It isn't Michael anymore, so what's left?"

"I don't know." Meredith shook her head uncertainly.

Needing to move, she started towards the door. However, with that animal silence, Derek came up behind her, his hands sliding over her shoulders. The mere touch of him stopped her in her tracks.

"Decide now," Derek ordered in a low murmur.

The dirty gold length of her hair was secured in a bun low on the back of her head. She felt the warm stirring of his breath on the exposed skin of her neck, sensitive and vulnerable. The affective pressure of his lips exploring that special pleasure point sent a tremor through her. His hands slid down to her forearms, crossing them in front of her as her molded her shoulders, waist and hips to the hard contours of his length.

Meredith struggled out of the emotional upheaval going on inside of her to protest, "Derek, I can't!"

"You want to." His mouth moved to her ear, his teeth nibbling at its lobe. "You know you do."

"I don't know anything," she breathed raggedly.

"Then feel," Derek instructed.

That was the problem. She felt too much it blocked out her thinking process. She didn't want to want to make a decision in the heat of an embrace.

"Derek, no!" She swallowed and pushed his hands from around her waist. She took a step away from his tempting embrace and stopped, shaking and weak with desire. Her head was lowered, her chin tucked into her throat. She felt his gaze boring into her shoulders.

Derek ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. His whole body stiff in his struggle to contain his irritation that she kept rejecting him even when they both knew what she really wanted. Then he slipped a hand under her elbow. Her first though was that he intended to ignore her uncertainties and kiss her into submission, something that would not be too difficult to do. Instead his pushed her forward. "Let's go," he muttered.

His long strides made it impossible for Meredith to keep up with him without half-running. The rigid set of his jaw kept her from drawing attention to herself or her plight. He didn't slow down until he reached the parking lot, where she struggled to catch her breath as they walked to the car.

Without looking directly at her, Derek unlocked the car and held the passenger door open for her, slamming it shut when she was safely inside. Walking around the car, he opened his own door and slid behind the wheel. He put the key in the ignition, but didn't start the car.

Resting his hands on the steering wheel, he stared straight ahead for several long seconds making Meredith grow increasingly uneasy at the silence. Then he finally, his gaze swung to her, his expression grim.

"The first day I was back, you claimed we needed time to get to know each other again," Derek said.

"You remember," she remarked.

"Believe me, I remember everything you've said," he returned with weariness, his attention shifting to the windshield in front of him. Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but remained silent.

"The point is, Meredith, that we aren't getting to know each other again. We're not talking. The only place we spend any time together alone id in the bedroom. And we both know there isn't any communication taking place there, physical or otherwise."

"So what are you suggesting?" Meredith questioned stiffly.

"That we spend more time together, like you wanted."

"That's a bit difficult with both of us working."

"Neither of us work during weekend," Derek reminded her. When she didn't answer, he continued, "I've decided we'll spend the weekend at the Block Island so we can have the time alone together – no friends, no family, just you and me."

"Block Island," Meredith repeated the name of the resort island located roughly fourteen miles off the Rhode Island coast.

"That's what I said," he turned his head to look at her. Then he reached to put his hand on hers. "Mer, please," he said almost pleading, "It'll be fun." He supplied with a light smile, his head tilting to the side trying to convince her.

Meredith looked back at him for a moment, trying to figure out why she was even thinking twice about it. It was, after all, a good idea and what she wanted. "Okay." She finally said turning her head down to look at their hands on her lap.

"Okay." Derek repeated softly. Withdrawing his had, he started the car and drove away.

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**Okay, there goes chapter 4. What do you think of it? **

**I really tried hard to have Derek go back to his old self. And figured that Michael, being his best, should be the one to make him realize that he should try, if not only for Meredith. **

**The next chapter will be all about their time together in Block Island. **

**But before that, what are your thoughts? Was it good? Bad? wince Please let me know. Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes: Hello everyone! Here's part one of MerDer in Block Island. I've been quite busy these past few days, so sorry if I've made you wait too long. **

**I want to thank all those who reviewed. You guys are the best.**

**Now, on with the story. Hope you'll enjoy.**

The whole week had gone by much faster than Meredith wanted since she agreed to Derek's idea of them spending the weekend at Block Island. There had been no upheavals with Derek since then. He had been nice and friendly toward her the whole week, engaging into casual conversations with her from time to time. They'd ride together to and from work. He'd walk her to her office in the morning and he'd come to get her when it was time to go home. At home, they slept in the same bed but he'd only touch her for a good night or a good morning kiss on the cheek. Meredith appreciated all this but she also didn't know what to make of it.

And now, as the ferry left the bay for the Atlantic Ocean heading for the pork chop-shaped island off shore, Meredith couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy and tense. She stared sightlessly at the Brenton Reef Light Tower. She and Derek had barely exchanged five words with each other since leaving the office and the silence was growing thicker. Meredith wasn't sure if she could take much more, she felt like jumping off the ferry and swim back to shore.

Derek looked at his wife, her stance frigid and her hands gripped the railings so tight that her knuckles turned white. He laughed inwardly as he approached her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, "Meredith, relax. This is a big ferry and the water is calm. There's very little chance that you'll get seasick." She just gave him a smile before he left her alone with her thoughts. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who was unsure of what to do with the situation.

After a few moments of staring out into the Atlantic, Meredith sighed and glanced at Derek standing a few yards away talking to another passenger. Their attention was on the dull grey clouds that suddenly hung low overhead. There was nothing threatening about them but they certainly added to the gloom Meredith felt. The two were obviously talking about the weather because she overheard the man saying, "I hope you're right that it's going to be sunny and clear at the island. I don't know anything about currents and how they affect the weather. All I know is that I want to get a weekend of fishing with my boys."

Derek's prediction of good weather on Block Island was true. They could fairly see their destination when the clouds began to thin. When the ferry docked, there were only patches of clouds in the sky. But the silence between Meredith and Derek didn't break. But despite that, she felt her spirits lift as they drove off the ferry on to the island. Its atmosphere was refreshing and Meredith understood why it had been a popular get away place for many people.

She became absorbed in the scenery as Derek drove across the island to a pleasant resort village stretched along the banks of the Great Salt Pond. It had been an inland lake once, but a man-made channel now linked it to the ocean, providing a spacious haven for pleasure craft and commercial fishing boats.

Much of the previous tension returned when Derek parked in front of a hotel. It seemed different somehow to share a hotel room. Meredith couldn't say why though, since they had been sharing a bedroom almost ever since Derek had returned. She felt self-conscious walking beside him in the lobby. As he walked to the front desk to register, she hovered near a rack of postcards. She felt a curling sensation in her stomach when she saw the porter take their bags. She immediately picked a card from the rack, pretending to study is more closely, when she saw Derek walking towards her.

"Were you planning to send a postcard to someone?" The cynically amused question didn't help her fluttering stomach.

"No." She quickly returned it to the rack. "I was just looking at the picture."

"Tomorrow we'll take a look at the real thing."

Meredith had to look back at the postcard. She had been so conscious of Derek she hadn't noticed what the subject of the card was. Now she saw it was a lighthouse.

"It looks interesting," she offered, just to be saying something.

"Yes," Derek agreed. "Shall we go to our rooms?"

"Rooms?" In plural, her eyes questioned.

"Yes, two,' he answered with a gentle, almost tender expression of patience on his face. "We have adjoining bedrooms. I intend to give this weekend every chance of proving whatever it is that you feel needs proving, Meredith."

She couldn't make any response but a quiet 'thank you' when he handed her keycard to her room.

"When a man is desperate, he'll try anything," Derek returned cryptically, but there was a glint of humor in his eyes.

They walked to their rooms in silence, but it was no longer as strained as it had been. Derek hesitated outside his door, catching her eye for a second before he slipped the keycard in and walked inside his room.

Meredith saw her suitcase lying on the luggage rack as she entered her room. She walked over to it, intending to unpack but instead, she paused as the interior door that connected the two bedrooms. Derek was on the other side of it. Unconsciously, she reached for the doorknob. It was locked. Regret clashed with relief as she walked back to her suitcase and unpacked.

An hour later, she had showered and was dressed in a white baby doll blouse and dark brown pants. Derek didn't mention whether he would meet her at the restaurant for dinner or go down with her. She debated whether she should wait in the room or go to the restaurant, then deciding to wait, she sat down on the bed. And instantly, a smile curved her lips. The mattress was blissfully soft, sinking beneath her weight. It was going to be a wonderful change from Derek's rock-hard mattress at home.

Then there was a knock at her door and Meredith rose to answer it, the smile still lingering on her lips. Derek stood outside, his eyes warming to a dark blue at her expression.

"You look happy about something," he commented with a slight smile.

"My bed," Meredith explained, smiling further. "It's soft."

He chuckled softly, understanding. His eyes danced in amusement. Her heart skipped a beat, then refused to return to an even tempo.

"So, dinner?" Derek held out his hand, cocking his head to the side. Self-consciously, she let her fingers be engulfed in his hand, but he remained at the door, blocking the way and preventing her from stepping out. His hold on her hand shifted, raising the inside of her wrist to his mouth.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he murmured.

"Derek, please," Meredith protested, her lashes fluttering down at the stimulating touch of his warm lips against the sensitive area of her wrist.

"It's simply a compliment," he interrupted innocently as he brought her hand away. "All you have to do is say 'thank you.'"

"Thank you," she repeated in a tight little voice, more disturbed by the effect he had on her.

"That's better," Derek smiled and moved aside, leading her out of the room and reaching behind her to close the door.

Fresh seafood was the sensible choice to make from the menu. Once the decision had been made, Meredith sat in the chair opposite from Derek, a bundle of twisted nerves inside of her, but she forced herself to be still. Without the steady chatter of Caroline Shepherd to lead the table conversation, she couldn't think of anything to say. Her tongue was tied into knots.

"I'm going to have to make a trip to the bookstore soon," Derek commented with seeming idleness. "I have a lot of reading to catch up on."

"Yes, I suppose you do." Meredith wanted to cry at how stiff her response had been.

But Derek either didn't notice it or deliberately ignored it, it was probably the latter. "It sounds a little crazy, but reading was one of the things I really missed. I never thought it was something important before."

"I doubt if I have either," she admitted, forgetting her self-consciousness at his insightful comment.

"Any new titles you'd like to recommend?"

Meredith hesitated, then suggested, "The Four Leafed Clover."

Before she realized what was going on, she found herself becoming engrossed in a discussion of new books that had been published in Derek's absence and titles they had both read in the past. Then from reading, their conversation drifted to movies and TV shows. And then it seemed natural to tell him about the things she had dome while he was gone, decisions she had been forced to make, such as subletting their apartment and sorting their furnishings.

When Derek later signaled the waiter for the check, Meredith was surprised to learn that it was after ten o'clock and there hadn't been one awkward moment between them, not a single remark that had been argumentative in a way. She wondered if Derek had notice it too, but she was afraid to ask. She didn't want to risk breaking whatever kind atmosphere they have created.

They both seemed to be in a fine reflective mood as the made their way to their rooms. Meredith was conscious of his hand lightly resting on the back of her waist, a faintly possessive air to his guiding touch, but she didn't have the slightest objection to it.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" Derek asked when they paused in front of her door.

"What?" Meredith looked up, curios and thoughtful.

"All those times I used to walk you to the door of your dormitory house and kiss you goodnight in a dark corner of the building." He glanced around the hallway. "Of course, here, there aren't any dark corners." His gaze returned to her face, a playful gleam in his eyes. "But I am going to kiss you goodnight."

His head bent and Meredith lifted hers to meet him halfway. The kiss was intensely light and questioning, both looking for answers to unknown questions. Each seemed to realize that it would take only the slightest movement to deepen the embrace to one of passion. Yet neither made it, merely testing the temperature of the water without fully going in.

With obvious reluctance, they both withdrew from the embrace, silently gazing at each other. Derek took a step back, clearing his throat, a closed look stealing over his face.

"Do you have your keycard?" he asked.

"Yes," Meredith took it out from her purse.

He hesitated a fraction of a second. "Goodnight, Meredith." He moved towards his own door.

"Goodnight, Derek," she murmured, and entered her room alone.

**I know, it's very short, and I'm sorry. I'm working on the second part and I'll have it posted before Thursday, promise. **

**Oh, and I just invented the title of the book – 'The Four Leafed Clover.' I don't know if there's really such a book. **

**In the meantime, I would like to hear your thoughts for this chapter. Review, review, review! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes: Hello everyone! As promised, here's chapter 6. I hope you'll enjoy this one.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to all those who read and reviewed. I can't thank you enough. **

Meredith didn't sleep well that night. And it was ironic because the reason was that the mattress was too soft. She was awakened from her restless sleep by a knock on the door. She stumbled groggily across the room to the door to answer it.

"Who is it?" she asked, leaning tiredly against the door, her hand resting on the locked night latch.

"Derek," was the answer. "Are you for breakfast?"

Meredith groaned. I couldn't be possibly morning already.

"Are you alright?" his tone was low and piercing.

"Fine," she mumbled, and silently adding, "I just need some sleep."

The doorknob rattled as he attempted to open it. "Open the door, Meredith." He ordered.

She was too exhausted to think of a reason to refuse and too tired to argue if she had. Slipping off the night chain, she unlocked the latch and stepped aside as Derek pushed the door open. Concern was written all over his face, but she didn't notice.

"I don't want breakfast." Meredith had already turned, making her way back to the bed. "You go ahead without me."

Derek's arm went around her to turn her back. He pushed the tangle of dirty-blond hair behind her ear and held it there, his hand cupping the side of her head and tipping it up. His strength was a wonderful thing and Meredith willingly let him support her weight, too weary to be standing on her own.

"You okay Mer? You look exhausted." Derek was frowning.

"I am." She sighed. "My perfectly soft bed was too soft. I barely slept all night."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Why didn't you take a pillow and blanket off the bed and sleep on the floor? Or is that too uncivilized for you?" he mocked in a gentle teasing voice.

"I suppose that's what you did?" Meredith lifted her tired lashes to glance at him. He looked disgustingly refreshed and rested.

"That's right." He nodded.

"And probably slept like a baby," she added enviously.

"No, I didn't sleep all that well," Derek denied.

"Why not?" Meredith slid her arms around his hard, warm body and rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes.

"I haven't liked sleeping alone since I met you." His statement sailed over her sleepy head. Meredith was only aware of how very right it seemed in his arms, so comfortable and so warm. She snuggled closer.

"Why don't you just hold me for a while and let me sleep?" she suggested in a sleepy murmur.

"I don't think so." The arm that had been around her withdrew to press a hand against her ribs just below her breast to push her away. "If I hold you much longer, I won't be thinking about sleep." Derek stated, a half-smile curving one corner of his mouth. "Why don't you go take a shower and change? I'll go get some coffee to help you wake up before we go to breakfast." He stoked her hair and smiled to convince her.

"Okay." Meredith couldn't say no to those eyes. And before she knew it, he was walking to the door, leaving her swaying there unsteadily. The closing of the door prompted her into movement. She looked longingly at the bed, but knew it was no use. Even if she could go back to sleep, which was unlikely, Derek would be back shortly to wake her. Following his suggestion, she walked to the bathroom.

After having their breakfast, Derek and Meredith started out on a leisurely tour of the island, dotted with fresh water ponds. It was not the first visit for either of them, but it had been years since their last. There were little changes on the island. A few more trees had been planted by property owners.

On the south-eastern shore, Derek parked the car on the Mohegan Buffs. The picture-postcard lighthouse sat on the point of the bluffs, the rustic house and tower looking out to see. Its navigational beacon was one of the most dominant on the New England coastline. The salty breeze off the ocean was cool. Meredith zipped the coral windbreaker up to her neck while Derek locked the car. Screeching seagulls soared overhead as they walked together past the lighthouse to the steep path leading down to the beach.

A fisherman stood knee-deep in the surf, casting a fly line into the water. He nodded a friendly acknowledgement to them as they strolled by. Derek's arm was around Meredith's shoulders, keeping her close to his side. She stepped over a piece of driftwood and turned her gaze up to his face. His features were relaxed with a look of contentment about them.

"Why are we getting along so well?" she mused, more to herself than him.

"Maybe because we stopped looking at each other," Derek suggested.

"What?" A confused frown creased her forehead, bewilderment in her exotic green eyes.

"Yeah," A faint smile touched his moth when he glanced at her, then he directed his gaze ahead of them, a contemplative look on his features. "I mean, we've stopped trying to see the flaws in each other, the differences. We've started looking outward together."

"You think?" Meredith too shifted her gaze to the beach in front of them.

"Why bother to analyze the reason?" he countered. "Why not just enjoy it?" he have her light squeeze.

"You're right." She scraped some sand with her foot. "Except that I like to know the why of things."

"So I remember," Derek murmured dryly. "Like the time I gave you your engagement right and you wanted to know what made me decide to propose to you."

Meredith laughed. "And you said it was because I would make a very beautiful ornament in your house." The laughter died as she gave him a guarded look. "Is that really why you proposed?"

There was a glint of exasperation in his impatient glance. "You should know me better than that, Meredith." He flashed her a quick smile.

She was silent for several paces before Derek spoke. "How did we get started on such a serious discussion?"

His lightning switch from a thoughtful mood to one that was lightly teasing was infectious. Meredith responded immediately. "I don't know. You started it."

"No, I didn't. You did." He corrected in the same light tone, "when you asked why we weren't arguing."

"You didn't have to answer me, so it's your fault," she shrugged.

"Logic like that can only come from a woman," Derek declared, shaking his head in amusement.

Meredith gave him a sideways push with her shoulder. Knocked off balance, his arm slipped from around her, and he had to take a step to one side to recover. Their aimless pace had taken them closer to the water's edge that they realized, and so when Derek took that step, his foot landed in salt water, shoe, sock and jeans. Meredith gasped in a laugh at the wet foot.

"You think it's funny, huh?" he took a playfully threatening step towards her.

Unconsciously she began to retreat. "I'm sorry, Derek." She was trying hard not to laugh, but it bubbled in her voice. "Seriously, I didn't mean to push you in the water."

Derek continued his approach on her. "Let's see if it's so funny when you get wet."

"Derek, no!" Meredith kept backing up, swallowing the laughter as she held her palms up and shook her head.

But the wicked glint in his eyes told her that her words were no use. Turning, she ran, sprinting for the rock bluff, a safer distance from the ocean waves. Derek chased after her, his long strides eating up her short lead. Any moment he would overtake her, Meredith knew and she took a laughing glance over her shoulder. As she did so, a piece of driftwood tripped her and sent her sprawling on to the beach. Her outstretched arms broke most of her fall. Unharmed, she rolled on to her back, breathing ruggedly, but still giggling, as Derek dropped to his knees beside her.

"You okay?" he asked, half smiling and half concerned.

"Fine." She managed to gasp.

Sitting on his heels, Derek watched silently as she caught her breath. But as her breathing slowed, her heartbeat seemed to increase. An exciting tension was building between then, running over the ends of her nerves. Derek moved forward as if to help her to her feet, but as he moved closer, arms bracing him above her, her lips parted, glistening moistly. Meredith lifted her hands to his chest as if to push him away, but instead they slip around his neck, pulling him down.

Fire ignited at the hard pressure of his mouth, hungry and demanding. It spread through her veins, her bones melting under the intense heat. The weight of his body crushed her to the sand. No part of her was immune to the fire Derek was fully arousing. Stumbling under the burning assault of his desire, she knew she had lost control. But she made no attempt to regain it, willing to let his lips dominate hers, his tongue dance with hers for as long as he chose. With each breath, she took in his scent, a fuel to the fire that consumed her. Never had Meredith felt so alive. Every corner of her heart was filled, in fact overflowing, with love. Any differences between them were burned away by the fiery embrace that exceeded physical connection.

"Hey, mister?" A child's voice sounded when previously she had only been able to hear their matching heartbeats. "Hey, mister!" This time, the voice was more insistent and Derek reluctantly dragged his mouth from hers to roll on to his side. "Have you seen my puppy?" A young boy of about six years old stood beside them, a baseball cap on his light brown head, staring at them innocently.

"No, buddy, I haven't." His reply was tight and brief to hide the raggedness of his breathing.

"He's white and black with a red collar," the boy explained.

"Sorry, but we haven't seen him," Derek repeated patiently.

"If you do, would you bring him back to me?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." And he trotted off.

Derek stared in the direction the boy had taken. "A few more seconds and it would have been embarrassing," he remarked, chuckling. "Come on." Standing to his feet, he caught Meredith's hand to pull her along with him.

"Where are we going?" There was a faint pink to her cheeks.

"Back to the hotel."

"Why?"

"You're forgetting." He accused, giving her a look that still had the smoldering light of desire, "I have a wet shoe, sock and pants leg."

"I'm sorry about that," Dina offered with an apologetic smile.

"I'm not." His finger touched her lips, tracing its outline, warm and still throbbing from his kiss. "If that's what I get for a wet, I can't help wondering what would happen if I'd been drenched from head to toe. She breathed in sharply at that, she wanted to tell him that he didn't have to wait to find out, but she simply couldn't say it. Derek didn't wait for her to respond, removing his fingers from her lips to encircle her hand. "Let's go?" Meredith nodded her agreement.

The passionate moment lay between them on their way to the hotel, the obvious change it made on them were left unspoken. But it was there in the looks they exchanged, in the things they didn't say and in the way they avoided physical contact with each other. They each seemed to know how the slightest touch would do, and they were not ready to start a false fire. But neither of them was willing to acknowledge the change in the relationship. At the same time, they couldn't go back to the cold casualty that they had before the visit to the island. And so, they both played a waiting game.

After having a late lunch at the hotel restaurant, they entered the lobby. Derek stopped short and turned to Meredith. "We're checking out and going home," he announced.

"It's only Saturday," she protested.

"I know," he agreed, "but I'm not looking forwards to spending another night here."

Meredith hesitated, trying to figure out what he was up to. Finally she answered, "The beds aren't very comfortable."

He chuckled, "Yes, they're too soft."

"Do we have time to catch the ferry?"

"If we pack now and not waste too much time, yes." He told her.

"Okay."

"I'll check out. You go start packing," said Derek.

During the ferry crossing, neither mentioned their sudden change of plans that had them returning home early. They talked around it, unwilling to dig too deeply into the reason. When the ferry docked, they stopped talking altogether, both absorbed in their own musings. It was several moments before Meredith noticed that Derek missed a corner.

"You were supposed to turn at that last block," she reminded him.

"We aren't going back to the house just yet," he replied.

Meredith waited for him to tell her where they were going. When he didn't, she asked, "Where are we going?"

"There's something I want to show you," was all he answered.

After several more blocked, he turned on to a tree-shaded street, branches arching overhead, nearly touching. He slowed the car down, seeming to read the house numbers as he drove down the street. Meredith's curiosity grew with each second of his continued silence. Finally he turned into a driveway and stopped the car, switching off the engine. Meredith glanced at the large white house, surrounded by a green lawn with lots of trees and flowering shrubs. She didn't recognize the place.

"Who lives here?" she asked.

Derek opened his car door and was already stepping out. "You'll see." He replied, smiling a bit.

She flashed him a confused look as she too stepped out of the car and closed the car door. She said nothing and walked ahead of him along the winding sidewalk to the front door. There was a jingle of mental behind her and she turned. Derek was taking a set of keys from his pocket. Selecting one, he stepped ahead of her and inserted it in the front door lock. Suspicion glittered in her eyes.

Pushing the door open, he motioned to her. "Go on in."

Her gaze went to the opened door as she moved forward to enter. On her right, carved oak posts ran from floor to ceiling to partition the mock entry way from the spacious living room. Although the room was lightly furnished, the items that were there Meredith recognized as the furniture stored from their apartment.

"What is this, Derek?" Unable to look at him, because she thought she already knew the answer.

"Do you like it?" Derek ignored her question to ask one of his own.

Meredith had a troubled look on her face, uncertainty and confusion filling her head. When she didn't answer, Derek spoke. "I didn't sign any papers to buy this house yet. I got the permission of the owner to have our furniture brought in to see how it would fit in the rooms and to give the interior designer an idea of what has to be done." He paused, taking hold of her elbow and turning her to face him. "I wanted to ask your opinion first." There was no response. "I thought it was time to start looking for a place that we could share together."

His gaze was piercing, as if searching her eyes for the answer. She averted her attention to the room, uncertain if she was ready for this just yet.

"Am I wrong, Meredith?" Derek asked.

She didn't want to answer that question, not yet, not until she had more time to think about it. She wanted to be sure before she gave her answer.

"Show me the rest of the house." She said.

Derek hesitated, wanting to get the answer to his question, then gestured with his hand. "  
The dining room and kitchen are this way," he directed.

As Meredith toured the house, she realized it was everything they had ever talked about in a home of their own. Spacious without being too large, enough room for entertainment, a study for Derek where he could work undisturbed in the evenings, a large patio in the back, and plenty of closets.

"Since you're working, we could hire a housekeeper to come in to do the housework," Derek explained with a bit of uncertainty as they walked down the hallway from the master bedroom to the main living area of the house. Meredith nodded, absentmindedly agreeing. At the open doorway of one of the two empty rooms, she paused to look inside again. The spare bedrooms were smaller than the master bedroom, but still sufficiently large.

"There's one more thing I haven't asked you." Derek stopped beside her.

"What's that?" she turned to meet his gaze.

"How do you feel about having children?"

Slightly flustered, Meredith looked back to the empty room, visualizing it not as a guest bedroom, but as a children's room. "We've talked about it before." They had talked of having two children, possibly three, she remembered.

"That was before," Derek pointed out, "I'm asking you about now, Meredith."

He seemed to silently demand that she look at him. Reluctantly she let her gaze swing back to him, but she was unable to look any higher than his mouth. There were no soft curves to it. It was strong and firm and very masculine. Meredith had the urge to raise her fingertips to it and trace the strength of its outline.

"I would like to have children, yes." Her reply was soft, almost inaudible.

"Do you have any objections to me being their father?" There was a husky quality to his voice.

Meredith looked away, her heart pulsing unevenly. She didn't respond. She couldn't seem to speak. Something seemed to be blocking her voice.

"Do you?" Derek repeated. When she remained silent, his fingers turned her chin to force her to look at him. "Did I have it wrong this morning on the beach?" His steady gaze didn't falter as he looked deeply into her eyes, seeming to bore into her very soul. "Was it just a moment of weakness from you?"

"I don't know." Meredith wanted to look away, but she couldn't. Her mind was reeling from his touch, incapable to coherent thought. "I….I can't think."

"Just this once, don't think," Derek requested. "Just tell me what you're feeling."

His hands slipped to her shoulders, tightening a little for a second as if he wanted to shake the answer out of her, but they relaxed and simply held her. Meredith stared into his chiseled features, slightly tanned, and those compelling blue eyes. This was Derek, her husband, the man he loved, and not the stranger she had thought him to be.

She swayed towards him and he gathered her into his arms, prepared to meet her more than half way. Her lips parted under the aggressive force of his mouth, taking prize she readily surrendered to him. Her soft curves molded itself to the hard contours of his length. His roaming hands caressed and shaped her closer to his body. Their combined body heat melted them together, fusing them with the burning fire of their love. His driving male need made Meredith aware of the empty aching in the pit of her stomach that only he could satisfy.

Soon, the torrid embrace was not enough. It was unable to meet the greedy needs of their desires. Bending slightly, Derek curved an arm under her knees to lift her and carry her to the master bedroom and the bare mattress of their old queen-sized bed.

As he laid her on the bed, the twining arms around his neck pulled him down to join her. Nothing else existed for either of them but each other, not the past, not the future, only the moment, eternally suspended in time.

The initial storm of their passion was quickly spent. When Derek came to her the second time, their love-making was slow and languorous. Each touch, each kiss, each intimate caress was enjoyed and prolonged, savored and cherished.

Their passion spent, Derek kissed her lashes, her cheeks, gently adoringly. He curved her to his side, locking his arms around her. Meredith sighed in heavenly content and snuggled closer, not wanting to move, never wanting to move. She belonged here, in Derek's arms, she would always belong here.

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**That's it, that's chapter 6. How was it? Review, review, review! **

**This story is winding down. So the next chapter will most probably the last one. And that would be up sometime next week. Meanwhile, I hope this week's two hour episode would be a blast. Cross you fingers everyone! lol**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes: Yes, I'm still alive. And I haven't forgotten about this fic. I'm really sorry for taking forever to update. I procrastinated. And well, I had pre-finale jitters and post-finale stress. I don't even want to talk about the finale anymore. I've already ranted about it in my livejournal. **

**So, here's the last chapter for this story. I really hope you like it. It's kinda hard to write a happy MerDer when they're not in the show. So please tell me what you think about it. **

Derek stroked her hair, absently trailing his fingers through the silken ends, watching the fairness of its color glisten in the light. Her eyes were closed in absolute contentment.

"Would you say it now, Mer?" he asked in a huskily caressing voice.

"Say what?" she questioned in equal softness, not quite sure if words could express anything close to what she was feeling.

"Welcome home, Derek," he supplied the words.

Tipping her head back, she opened her eyes and looked up to his face, love bringing an amazing glow to her exotic green eyes. "Welcome home, Derek." She repeated the words. Her voice trembled with the depth of her meaning. A strangled moan of came from his throat, as if a long tormented journey had finally ended. He lifted her the few inches necessary to plant a hard, possessive kiss on her lips. Then his trembling fingers moved over her lips as if to apologize for hurting them.

"I've been waiting so long to hear that." His voice muffled as he buried his face on the side of her neck. "But now, it doesn't seem that important anymore."

"The day you returned and I saw you standing there in the house, I thought it was someone's idea of a joke." Meredith confessed.

Derek shook his head. "I should have made more effort to get hold of you or have the authorities reached you before I came back." He paused, tracing her jaw line with his thumb. "I knew it would be a shock. Michael tried to convince me to let him break the news to you, but I didn't listen."

"It wasn't just shock," she explained. "It was guilt, because I was engaged to Michael. And then there you were, my husband. I wanted to run to you, but I couldn't. Then suddenly, you seemed so different – someone I didn't know." Meredith sighed.

"I didn't want to admit that I changed, that we've changed," he murmured with a rueful smile. "I guess I just wanted everything to be the way it was."

"But, things might have been different if I hadn't been engaged to Michael." Meredith turned to rest her head on his chest and listen to the strong rhythm of his heartbeat.

"It might have made us less wary of each other, but we would still have to adjust to the changes that happened to us," he insisted.

"Yes, but Michael – " Meredith started to argue.

"Was never a threat to our relationship," Derek interrupted, his voice firm, sure and cocky.

Meredith relaxed, realizing that he was right. Smiling, she slid her hand over the flat of his muscular stomach. "But weren't you just a little bit jealous of Michael?" The question was half teasing and half serious.

"No, I was never jealous of him," he chuckled, his hand absently continuing its previous task of playing with her hair.

"Never?" Meredith feigned disappointment.

Derek sighed in defeat. "Okay, I admit. There were times when I was envious of him."

"Why?"

"Because you were so natural with him, so warm and friendly, trusting him and turning to him when you needed help. I wanted it to be me," he explained. "I was jealous of Michael because you looked to him for security and not me."

"I feel very secured now." Meredith hugged up to him. Then she moved up and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you Derek. I never stopped."

"That's what I really wanted to hear," his arms tightened around her, almost crushing her ribs. "Welcome home was just a substituted for I love you."

"I love you." she repeated. "You don't have to ask me to say it. I'll keep saying it until your ears fall off." She laughed.

He rolled, pinning her to the bed under his weight. He looked into her eyes. "I missed you." he said, voice wavering with emotion. Then he dipped his head and kissed her, long and passionate. When they stopped for air, there was a long silence. They reveled inwardly at the rediscovery of their love, holding each other.

"I hate to bring up something so mundane," Meredith whispered, "but where are we going to sleep tonight?"

"I don't even want to go to sleep," Derek said, teasing her.

"Aren't you tired?" Her sleepless night of the very soft mattress was beginning to catch up on her. And the dreamy contentment of his embrace was lulling her further into sleepiness.

"Exhausted," he admitted with a smile in his voice. "But I'm afraid if I go to sleep, I'll wake up and find that none of this has happened. Or worse, that I'm still in the jungle."

"If you are, I'm going to be there with you," she declared, and poked a finger in his chest. "You Tarzan, me Jane." Derek chuckled and kissed her hair.

"Seriously, Derek, are we going back to the house tonight?"

"Not if the storage boxes in the garage have blankets in them. Do they?" he questioned.

"Did you take everything that I had in storage?"

"Every single thing," he confirmed.

"Then there are blankets in one of those boxes," she promised.

"Is that what you want to do, Meredith? Stay here?"

"If you want to. I can go get the blankets." Meredith started to move but Derek held her still.

"You know what I'm really asking."

"The house?" Meredith guessed, propping herself up on an elbow beside him.

Derek nodded. "Do you like it?"

"Yes. I love it," she smiled. "It's everything we ever said we wanted in a house."

"Good. That's what I thought too. Monday morning I'll have the agent draw the papers we have to sign. As for now, I don't think he'll mind if we start unpacking the boxes in the garage."

"What if he sells it to someone else?"

"He won't. I put earnest money down to hold it until you saw it."

"Were you so positive I'd like it?"

"As positive as I was that you're still madly in love with me," Derek answered smiling in full confidence.

"Oh get over yourself already!" Meredith teased, slapping him lightly on the chest. "It would serve you right if I didn't like it."

"But you do. And now you can take over the decorating of it."

"It might end up looking like a hotel," she warned.

"It better not," he laughed, and pulled her into his arms.

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Snow fell endlessly from the pearl-grey sky and snowflakes had started to build up on the other side of her office window. A serenely joyful light was in Meredith's eyes as she smiled against the telephone she held to her ear.

"Thank you," she said, "Merry Christmas."

Hanging up, she turned her attention to the papers on her desk, absently humming along the Christmas carols coming from somebody's computer speakers somewhere down the hall. The inter-office line buzzed and she picked up the telephone again. She had barely said 'hello' when Derek's crisp voice came, "I want you in my office, now."

"What's this about?" Meredith questioned, her brows furrowed in confusion.

"We'll talk about it when you get here."

An eyebrow arched at his sharpness. "Okay," Meredith agreed calmly, "Give me a few minutes."

"I said now," he snapped.

"You're forgetting, it takes fifteen minutes to walk from here to your office," she reminded him dryly.

"Now, Meredith!" And then he hung up.

Breathing in deeply, Meredith stared at the dead phone before finally putting it back on its cradle. She took a few more seconds putting her desk into some kind of order, then walked out into the corridor, closing her office door as she left. Fifteen minutes had definitely been an exaggeration. Eight minutes later, Diane Chandler glanced up from her computer screen and motioned her into Derek's office with a greeting wave of her hand. Meredith knocked twice on the connecting door before opening it and walked in.

Derek sat behind his desk, leaning back in his chair when Meredith entered. His blunt male features were drawn into harsh cold lines, matching the temperature outside. Anger blazed in his eyes and Meredith had no idea why.

"You wanted to see me, Derek?" she walked to his desk, smiling warmly at him, but it didn't soften his expression. "What is it?" she asked, clearly puzzled by his behavior.

"What's this?" He reached forward to shove a paper across his desk towards her, his hard and watchful gaze never leaving her face for an instant. "What's this all about?"

Meredith reached for the paper and scanned over it. "This is the revised budget request," she frowned as she recognized it. "Where did you get it?"

"From Michael," Derek snapped.

Her mouth became a straight line of grim frustration. "He wasn't supposed to give it to you. I wanted to go over it with you myself when I submitted it."

"He didn't give it to me, I took it. And you can go over it with me now," he ordered. "This is the – what – third or fourth budget revision?"

"The third." Meredith was trying her best to stay calm and not match his biting tone. "And if you'd told me why you wanted to speak to me, I could have brought some supporting papers."

"I don't need supporting papers, I want an explanation. Why the increase this time? And don't tell me its inflation."

"It's a lot of things," she began. "We had to change advertising agencies for the campaign because the first one wasn't able to carry on because of some internal problems. That meant an increase in the cost."

"You should have checked more carefully into the first company," he rebuked.

"I did. Their difficulties came after we'd signed the contract with them," she replied sharply to his criticism.

He didn't look like he believed her, but he didn't pursue the topic. "What else?"

"We had to revise the cost figures on refurbishing some of the hotels. The – "

"I knew it," he declared through clenched teeth. "The redecorating costs for the hotels increased every time you submitted a budget. Are you redecorating them or rebuilding?"

The slow-burning fuse of her temper was finally lit. "Sometimes I'm not so sure myself," she snapped back. "Have you seen the hotel in Florida? It looks like a hospital! We've tried landscaping, painting, nothing works. It needs a whole new façade."

"Why don't you just have it torn down and build a new one?" he flashed.

"That's the best suggestion I've heard!" she retorted. "Why don't you bring that up to the expansion department?"

"At the rate you're going, it might be the most logical decision!" With controlled anger, Derek pushed out of his chair, standing behind desk and looked at her. "You –"

"Enough!" Meredith held one hand up, glarring at him. "You have to st –" She stopped mid-sentence as she suddenly felt nauseous. Her knees buckled as the floor seemed to move. She stepped forward, grabbing unto the desk to steady herself. In an instant, Derek was there beside her, he held her shoulders, keeping her still. She reached a hand to wipe the cold sweat on her forehead.

"Meredith?" Derek asked, their previous argument completely forgotten. His cold accusing gaze was replaced by panic and concern. Meredith didn't answer. She closed her eyes and willed the room to stop spinning. "Meredith?" he asked again. He reached to tuck her hair behind her ear and cupped her face. "Mer?" He asked yet again, concern evident in his voice.

She slowly opened her eyes and focused on his face. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I..I suddenly felt dizzy." She supplied.

"Okay." He nodded, taking hold her arms and guided her towards the couch. "You should sit." Once she was settled on the couch, he moved to get her a glass of water. He placed a comforting hand on her back as she drank. "That's thrice this week." He stated frowning. "I don't think it's because you're tired from work anymore. Maybe we should go see a doctor."

"No," she shook her head weakly.

"No?" he questioned.

"No." she confirmed, turning her head to look at him. "I..I already went."

"To the doctor?" He raised his eyebrows, only to furrow back in confusion. "When?"

"Yes." She replied, lowering her chin, still angry and hurt by his previous attack. "Yesterday afternoon. You were in a meeting." She paused. "I'm going to have a baby."

In the next second, his hands were on her shoulders to gently turn her towards him. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, I'm sure." She nodded. "Doctor Montgomery called a few minutes ago to confirm the test results."

"Why didn't you tell me?" his tension was exhaled with the question.

"How could I when you've been yelling at me for the past five minutes?" Her eyes flared open to glare at him.

His fingers lightly touched her cheek before he cupped it in his hand. "I was, wasn't I?" There was a rueful quirk to his mouth.

"Yes, you were." But her statement didn't carry any sting of anger.

Derek let out a sigh, raking one hand through his hair. He didn't know what had gotten into him. "I'm sorry. I lost my perspective for a moment, the order of importance. I could lose everything and it wouldn't matter as long as I didn't lose you." The glow radiating from his face was warm and powerful and Meredith basked in the love light. That peaceful happiness she had known before their argument returned with doubled strength.

"No, it doesn't matter as long as I have you," she agreed and turned her lips into his hand to press a kiss in his open palm. His head lowered, his mouth claiming her in a sweetly fierce kiss that rocked her senses. She clung to him, reveling in the possessive embrace that gathered her close to him. Warmth raced through her veins, filling her body with love and pleasure.

She was breathless when the kiss ended, and the sensation remained as Derek buried his face in the dirty-blond hair, his mouth trailing a blazing fire to the sensitive skin of her neck. She felt the tremors vibrating through his muscular form and she knew she disturbed him as sensually as he disturbed her. When he finally lifted his head, there was a disarmingly dreamy smile on his face. His hands moved to tangle his fingers in her hair and hold her face up to for his gaze to explore. Meredith knew this was a moment she would treasure in her heart forever.

"We're really going to have a baby?" There was a faintly marveling look in his eyes as Derek turned the statement into a near question.

"Yes," Meredith nodded.

"Are you alright?" he frowned.

"I'm fine," she smiled.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again.

"Apology accepted." She smiled.

"Okay." He kissed her lightly and gazed into her eyes. "When's the baby due?"

"July."

"The new campaign will be in full swing by then. I can already see you directing operations from the maternity ward." Derek chuckled. Meredith laughed, as she playfully slapped his chest.

"You should be glad that I'm your boss," He added with an arrogant smile. "A boss that's understanding and will let you set your own hours or work at home, if that's more convenient?"

"I guess I'm very lucky," she slid her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. "Lucky in more that one way."

"Mer," Derek spoke her name in an aching murmur against her lips as he lowered her to the couch.

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**So, that's it. That's 'How to Love A Stranger.' I'm sorry that I had to put a McAss moment for Derek in there. I guess the events the show had gotten into me. Also, no marriage is perfect. Their bound to have arguments like these, and they'll still be together because they really love each other. Even if he yells, even if she yells, they're always going to show up for each other. And yes, Addison had I little cameo in there. I'm really going to miss her on the show. Because even though I'm a big MerDer shipper, I also love Addison's character. She's one of the reasons I watch the show. **

**Anyway, Please do tell me what you think of this last chapter. **

**Lastly, I would like to thank all the readers, especially those who reviewed. You really helped boost my confidence that I could actually finish this fic. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Cheers! **


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